A Wistful Memoir

Chapter 1

Do read the Author's note in the beginning. 

Mood of the day : Excited!

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/First Person P.O.V/

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'Blue' , a color oh-so gifted. A color who's each shade holds the power of such great depiction of our every mood. A color when looked at gives a surge of emotions, that we are often rendered speechless. 

A color associated with oceans , sky and their vastness. A color of trust, confidence, integrity, loyalty and tranquility. A color, when looked up at the sky so blue, full of such optimism and serenity that it puts a stop to the tumult of emotions within a person. 

But today, the same blue sky fails to give me the repose which goes missing with my hyperactive emotions. 

I am looking at the sky in search of some calmness, standing on the terrace of one of the fanciest hotels of Mumbai, overlooking the greenery which embraces it's backside. 

But, today I experience a distinct blue. The type of 'Blue', which is also known for its melancholy, sadness and despair. 

Releasing a deep breath, I try to get hold of the memories which come rushing back like a gust of wind, unannounced and abrupt. 

'Get a grip dammit! It's okay. It was in the past. It's over. You have moved on.' Repeating those words like a mantra, I try to stabilize my heart beat which is so loud that I can hear it in my ears. 

I turn back around to look up again at the blue sky, spotting a few birds flying by. I no longer feel the frenzied emotions. A few years of learning how control them and now they only require a few minutes to settle down. 

I wait to feel something, anything. But all I feel is a numbness and not the broken kind. But the kind you experience after being flabbergasted. 

After a few minutes of deep breathing , my attention is grabbed by the vibration of my phone which was resting on the parapet wall.

         6 : 15 pm | Wednesday 

Unknown : Hey Princess! Finished with your meeting ? 

I am not annoyed on seeing the nickname like any other day. Rather I am grateful for the message. 

Aryahi : No. It got rescheduled. 

I lean against the small boundary wall and bend down to remove the black pumps. Heels can be bothersome, but they are so aesthetically appealing that I am always drawn by them. 

My old self would be looking at me so weirdly. My lips turn up in a mocking smile. 'Change' , an inescapable concept. Changes sound so scary, but sometimes they are sudden and sometimes they are intentional. And my changes over the last ten years, fall in the second category. 

I look at my phone screen which shows 'typing'.

Unknown : What happened?

Aryahi : Oh nothing, I asked them to submit the report via email. I'll meet them next week. Got some other work. 

'A lie! You never lie to him.' My inner self chides. I gulp, suddenly feeling so anxious that it takes all of my strength to not rub at my chest or pluck my cuticles. 'Stop' I try to lessen the effect.

Unknown : No. What happened to you? You okay?

'How would he know?' 'Don't overreact. Its just a wild guess.' 'Don't lie again Aryahi.' I clutch my phone tightly to stop myself from answering falsely.