Still alive

Alone with death

Two guards came forward and grabbed Laila and Zamda by their arms and started dragging them away, both of them finally shook awake.

“W-what's goin'-” Laila started but immediately stopped as she felt his presence, they both became still, and Laila started violently shaking in fear, her eyes filled with tears. It was hard to see her like this. She looked at me, her lips quivering, she wanted to say something to me, and I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay but I couldn’t move.

Zamda didn’t say anything, didn’t look up at all, her eyes wide open staring at the cracked stone floor. They let themselves be dragged away, too scared to retaliate.

I wanted to run after them, hold them, don’t leave me alone, don’t leave with him. They have left me alone with death.
I wanted to scream, I’m scared, but nothing, nothing came out of me, I was too still, too petrified.

What is this person, his body radiating power like I’ve never felt before, I’ve seen and felt demons before they didn’t feel like this, they didn’t feel like death was staring right at you, he felt like death.

After they had left and we were alone, he was still leaning on the wall behind him, his feet slightly crossed together, his hand in his pockets, his posture completely calm, relaxed yet still.

My eyes were fixed on his feet, never moving above, too scared they would move and the distance between us would be closed if I left them even for a second.

He released a breath and I flinched. He moved towards me slowly, my hands fisted my pants still on my knees in the same position I was in after I woke up.

I bit my lip to stop the whimper that desperately wanted to escape. What is happening to me? I couldn’t move, no matter how hard I willed myself to move, get away from him, he is almost here, yet nothing. I was glued to the ground and my lungs were running out of air fast.

He was in front of me now, my eyes still on his shiny shoes. He bent down towards me, my eyes caught his face.

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He was beautiful, No, beyond beautiful, he was perfect.
And his eyes met mine as he looked into my soul, finding my deepest darkest secrets. I was no longer afraid, I don’t even remember what I was so scared of. I was no longer in the cell, in the forest, or even on earth. I was lost, drowning in the ocean of his eyes.

“Shhhhhhh,” He said shushing me “It’s okay, breathe” his voice was deep and husking shaking me to the core, I didn’t want him to stop talking.

“Breathe,” he said again and my brain finally registered the burning sensation in my lungs, they were desperate for air, I tried, I fought to give them what they wanted, but I couldn’t.

My eyes wouldn’t leave his if they did I would die. I was burning up in flames, my chest too tight, and I couldn’t function even though I desperately tried, my organs would listen, they had betrayed me.
His hands reached out only to take my cheeks in his hands, and my cheeks erupted in flames. I never want him to let me go.

He brought my face closer to his “Inhale love” Hmm he called me love. Everything was moving in slow motion, and I was so tired and so hungry and so exhausted by everything, my eyelids were so heavy, so incredibly heavy, I couldn’t hold them any longer, so I let them go. Fading away in his arms as he held me tightly.

The sun is shining on my face, too bright, I lift my hands to cover my face, the sunlight is blinding. I hear the soft familiar laughter, I turn around and see my sister, her head resting on my mother's lap, she’s laughing, her hands holding lavenders, as my mother’s gentle hands braid her hair.

My mother has a small smile on her face, she laughs at something Mia says “ Oh Minal, when will you finally grow up?”.

My eyes tear up, I remember this, it’s not a dream, it’s a memory, a precious memory that will never fade away.
I remember each and every detail, Mia will turn her head and look at Ma “ Ma I’m still too young if anyone it should be Mirani who should grow up. Do you know she broke your pot again and then hid it under the sofa? The poor plant.”

Ma would turn to me and try to look surprised, she somehow always knew everything. “Mirani” she will pretend to scold me, And I will chase Mia around for snitching on me, she will laugh her heart out, and her half-braided hair will unravel when she runs. I will catch her soon, and we will both laugh uncontrollably as we both start snitching on each other.

I watch the scene as it plays out in front of me like I’m watching a film. I watch as I’m laughing running after Mia. Tears roll down my eyes.
Ma turns to me, and wipes my tears away “it's okay my little one” her voice brings me the warmth that I longed for so long.
I hold her hand resting on my cheek “I want to join you” I tell her. “Baby, you can’t not right now, people are waiting for you.” She replies, the smile never leaving her lips. “ Please,” I say and she just smiles “You’ll be okay”.
I’m lying on a bed, covered in a blanket that smells way too good to be true. I’m warm, I’m no longer cold, I haven’t been warm in a while.
But still, it’s like something has been broken inside of me. My tears won’t stop, I'm tired. I pull the blanket up and cover myself entirely, submerging myself in the calming scent that comes with it.
I don’t know where I am, or whose comfortable bed and blanket this is but I don’t care, I need this right now. I don’t want to face the world, I’m all alone now, this is my only source of comfort, so I hold it tighter scared that this too will be ripped away from me.
I feel a hand run over my head from on top of the blanket, and a voice calls out to me “Mira?”.
It’s Laila, her voice is soft and comforting. “ You should eat something, you haven’t in five days” Zamda is here too, she sounds worried.

I get up to see Laila’s cheeks and nose painted red and, her eyes watery and swollen way too big. She looked like a pufferfish. I laughed a little. She looks adorable, I wanna pinch those puffy cheeks.

She has been crying a lot, the realization brings me back to reality. Were they tortured? I check her for any bruises or cuts, and my eyes land on her wrists, they’re covered in handcuffs and her wrists are burned, the handcuffs are made with wolfsbane.

I gasp as I try to open them but fail, my hands try to lift them so her wrist won’t burn anymore, and she hisses closing her eyes. “I'm sorry,” I say trying to keep my anger and sadness at bay. Laila hugs me hard, knocking my breath out “You’re okay” she cries.

My eyes turn to Zamda and scurry over her head to toe, she also has the same handcuffs. My heart breaks for both of them “What happened” I asked almost on the verge of tears again.

They don’t respond, and the door opens, Laila clings to me harder, and her hands tighten around my shirt. She’s scared and I want to kill something.