The Game of Love

Ch.5

A/N
Hey guys!! Thank you for reading my story! I'll try to write at least one chapter every other day, but hopefully if I get into a good creative feel some days I'll publish a few in a day. If you guys want, I have a playlist I made to go along with this story or like any regency book you might be reading I guess.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7CorzcooQ6jvZJcIy7a4Di?si=KDYDPPxxTCOJ6OzwT1WnOw&pi=u-HOVwASeBQ-61

Lucy

It was decided. I would be taking social lessons (which were really only disguised lessons in flirting) from the very man Ive been in love with for the past five years. At first it was blindingly mortifying, but after sitting and sobbing a while, I realized that it would be all the more an embarrassment if he were to find me crying like a child avoiding him. I hadn't initially planned on going through with the lessons but hearing his real reason for helping my sister made it almost impossible not to accept them. And besides that, I would also be gaining some time with him, and perhaps the obligation that he must be there would take the weight off of me. We chose to have a lesson a day and for the coming ball to be my midway test of improvement.
He sat across from me one day, testing me on the different ways of wooing a man with my eyes.
"Alright," he gestures for me to stand with him and a little closer, "now, give me the doe."
I stare at him, tilting my head slightly lower, looking up through my lashes.
"Is this correct?"
"Wh-why yes, that is it exactly!" He stutters, "but remember that this tactic should be used only when wanting to become further at ease with your subject, whether he be a familiar or unfamiliar acquaintance of yours," he is avoiding my eye contact and I tilt my head in question but he continues, "which means that perhaps there was some ill happenings between you both that you wish to calm," he then looks at me clearing his throat, "now, does that make sense?"
"Mhm," I tilt my chin up in acknowledgement.
"Alright—well— er— next could you give me the damsel? Now this one will require some prior distress of course, but afterward it is important to acknowledge his part in your rescue. You will turn your head like this, and to the side so that it gives the impression of graciousness and relaxation. Remember that this one can be often confused for seduction so if you ever wind up in that situation, use another tactic to avoid or welcome his advances depending on what you prefer. Now, act them out on me."
I perform his act of the damsel, "why, thank you sir, I was so frightened I could hardly see what was happening."
He smiles at my recreation, playing along with my act, "why of course— and now if he were to mistake your act for advances, he would place his hand here, like so—" he holds my chin in his hand, "which he might disguise as only an assessment of your distress— now, what would you do?"
He is so close, so very near to me that I cannot think of what I should do. Before I can realize what I am doing, I am moving slowly closer to him, into his grasp. He places his hand on my waist and the one on my chin rest gently on the side of my face.
"Wh-what should you do if—" his voice is a bare whisper, "if he— if he—?"
I cock my head to the side, testing him, "if he what?" I mirror his own tone.
"I haven't taught this tactic to you yet, miss— if- if a man is advancing on you, you should concoct a-an excuse that makes his advances seem scandalous and you unattainable. You could say you wish to— to kiss him but that you cannot for—for another reason."
"I cannot kiss you, sir, my heart belongs to another."
He separates from me at that, "your heart? Your heart is—?"
The air in my lungs is dense with this confusion. Is he playing the part? Whatever should the response to that be? Did I mess up the act?
"Why, yes, it belongs to another with whom I worry shall never stand to accept it."
His brows draw in and he keeps opening and closing his mouth as if to say something but never allowing the words to come out.
"Sir?" I say just above a whisper, "sir? Have I successfully used the tactic then? There is no point in continuing these theatrics now, sir."
He sits down at once, "yes, of course, that was a splendid rendition of— of—yes."
I smile in satisfaction, "wonderful! I thought for a moment you were displeased with me."
He shakes his head, "no, no of course not, you did very well. I believe today's lesson has come to an end now, I shall be going then."
"Oh! Have you any work for me while I wait for the next lesson?"
He grabs his coat, "no, you have done splendid work, there is no need for that."
His stance is so rigid I worry something has come over him, something so unfamiliar to me that I cannot daresay what it might be.
"Is there something wrong, sir?" I step nearer to him.
"No! There is not and please do not call me sir, only Malcolm will do fine."
I unintentionally reach my hand out to his, not making contact.
"I apologize, was there something that has caused this—?"
"No no not at all, I should be the one to apologize, I am very sorry miss, please do forgive my sudden harshness."
I nod, stepping then even closer, "believe me sir, I did not mean to offend, I only wish you might tell me what I have done so that I might correct myself."
His face is strained, "you have done nothing, my dear. It is I who— never mind that."
He begins walking toward the door but stops midway through it, turning to face me, "was all that you said true? Does your heart—?" He cuts himself off.
"I admit that I was truthful when I claimed my heart to," I hesitate, clearing my throat, " I claimed my heart to a man, yes that was true." 
It makes my inside twist with embarrassment. Could he tell my feelings for him? Had I driven him off with my pathetic hopefulness? God, what had I done!
"Well, I will see you tomorrow at this same time, then." He says curtly and walks away once I give him my admission.