Poems and Prose and Girlhood

La La Love

i couldn't see you often, yet you are the one my heart choosed to beat for,
the spark that sprinkled sunshines that bloomed the stanzas of my metaphors
and i know this is something like one of those things
happened to happen, as if tied in an invisible string

i called you and i told you i wanna spend time with you, do you remember?
now i wonder when that would be, i'm sure it'll be great if ever
seeing you, i want to go near to you but i got nervous
and i just smiled the regret of the chances i lose

i like it the way you smile at me
no, i mean, i love and want to see it again.
it's contagious and it's cool to see your hand to my direction waving
but how about your arms around me? i imagine

i'm sorry if i did something that hurt you
i think we got lost in translation because we had never discussed about everything

i heard they say dont fall in love with writers
because their poems are messy and their letters are empty words that dressed up to be pretty
but i dont think so
one cannot write what is never meant and what is never felt

yet, i guessed you dont deserve my poems anymore
what you deserve is my love and to feel it firsthand
you dont deserve the words that can be stolen
so let me give you we can cherish until years where it'll be forgotten
and be reminded of again and again

so, i'll stop writing poems now
but i'll be back
at the time i'm holding your hand.

Estl. 11-2023