Teen Helpline [#1 of the Helpline Trilogy]

9: 19 p.m

"Twenty questions, you ready?"

"What? No hi?"

"Do you know who you're talking to, Mr Fanceh?"

"Touche. Anyway, why twenty questions?"

"Because I need further information on obligations to stalk you."

"Wow."

"Don't be flattered, Mr Fanceh-Pants. It's necessary for all clientele."

"Seriously? Fanceh-Pants?  And what are you talking about? I'm your only client."

"Touche. And yes, Mr Fanceh, I will also make fun of the nickname I already make fun of you with."

"Bitch."

"You love it and you know it. Let's move on to the game!  Now the rules are pretty simple so if you screw it up, Mr Fanceh, you're officially a moron."

"I hate you."

 "And I'm ignoring you. I'm going to say two things and you're supposed to say the first things that come up. Okay?"

"Um...okay..."

"Blondes or brunettes?"

"Blondes. Because I'm a brunette and my sister is a brunette so if I date a brunette, it feels like I'm dating my sister."

"Standards, Mr Fanceh. And good choice, considering your audience is a blonde."

"You're a blonde?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"You don't...strike me as a blonde."

"Why? Do you think all blondes are stupid, huh? Well, Mister, my fist can show you how stupid I can be!"

"That's not what I meant! It's just....I pictured you as a redhead, kinda. With your fire mouth and Harry Potter obsession."

"Oi, just because I love Weasleys doesn't mean I am one...I would love to be one though." 

"Of course you do. Anyway, I also love blondes because well...Sara was a blonde. She was a pretty blonde."

"Who?"

"Sara? My ex-girlfriend?"

"Oh right. Yeah. Okay."

"Man, I miss her."

"Um, listen...I kinda gotta go. I'm sort of...uh...tired." 

"It's nine o'clock."

"Yeah...um, that's my bedtime. Early to bed, early to rise, right?"

"But what about twenty questions?!"

"We can play that another time."

"Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Will do, Mr Fanceh."

"You're so weird. But you wouldn't be my best friend if you weren't."

"Yeah...and that's all I'll ever be."

"Excuse me? Did you say something?"

"Oh- uh, nothing! Gotta go!"

"Oh- okay, bye!"

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