The Only Girl in the Band

The Only Girl in the Band...[Part 28]

It was a difficult next several weeks. November flew by in a blur of dried, falling leaves. Then half of December rolled through with a chilly breeze.

I tried everything in my power to keep the news from my parents, but I just couldn't. Somehow, it seemed the whole world knew that Ian and I broke up and that I had left the band.

Those two pieces of news were the only ones that were true. The reasoning behind them, though, was ridiculous.

Some people were saying that I had a diva moment and said that I said that I was better than the rest of the band and deserved all of the spotlight, which is why I left the band. And I broke up with Ian to get attention. This didn't make any sense because I already had the unwanted attention because of our relationship. I didn't need to get any by breaking up with him.

Another rumor was that I was pregnant and couldn't handle the stress of being in a band and that I was angry at Ian for getting me pregnant. It, too, was false and made no sense. Yet another rumor said that I had been cheating on Ian with Caleb.

It made me angry that every single one of the rumors that was going around made me the bad guy. Ian wasn't at fault in any of the situations, which I didn't think was fair at all. Why wasn't I the victim? Did I really appear to be that harsh?

Mae kept telling me to ignore what the news was saying. But I couldn't help it. It was everywhere; the lies were everywhere. I was the victim and no one would believe me.

My mom made sure my father didn't know about anything; he couldn't be stressed out. She offered to sue Ian, but I told her it made no sense. He didn't really do anything besides use me and break my heart.

I still had that tight pain in my chest. Every now and then, I would sit alone and cry to myself.  It hurt. Everything hurt.

                                                                         ~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                                                              {Ian's POV}

"Vanessa cheated on Ian with fellow band mate, Caleb," E! News was saying. I groaned and turned the TV off. It seemed that everywhere I looked, I saw her name or her face with some caption that was telling a lie.

I did it! I used her! I broke her heart!

I wanted to yell at all those stupid, misinformed reporters. But I didn't; and that just made me feel even worse about myself.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the pain-stricken face of Vanessa when I told her the truth. Every word I had said was like a visible injury to her. 

I had been wrong. It was my fault. She shouldn't be suffering this much right now.

I felt guilty all the time. Everywhere I went, people sympathised with me. Every word of comfort struck me hard.

Caleb knew the real story. He was the only one who knew what had really happened. Liam and Cameron were still confused. They tried really hard at first to get Vanessa to come back. I remember them pleading with her. Caleb also begged her to think things through again. He told her not to let what I had done to her affect the band.

I didn't expect her to listen. And she didn't. She wouldn't come back. We were going to go over the official legal signings later on in the week. She would still be receiving her cut of the money from the old album sales. And the band? We lost another lead singer.

And me? I lost the most perfect girl I could have ever had.

I was selfish and stupid and greedy and apathetic. I was all of the most horrible things in the world put into one human being. Everytime I saw a picture of Vanessa in a magazine or online, I could see the pain that I was putting her through. It was me. I had done it.