The First Jumper

04: Gerleesh: Despair

Gerleesh made it home, although she never remembered the trip. She almost stepped on two young Tarshen playing a game, and never noticed, even when they screeched at her.

She came into her quarters, and the walls accused her. You are not worthy of us, they seemed to say, and she shrank back from them. The extra room for the child she would never have seemed a precious abomination in her confusion. She went into the room and shook with sorrow at the hopes and dreams that had died in her pouch, sealing it forever.

She had material she could read or experience, or she could go out to visit with friends or her mother. But she did not want to read, or watch any entertainment. Her friends would all want to know how the pregnancy was coming. They would be joyful and irresistibly curious, until they found out the egg had died. Then they would be horrified and sympathetic, but they would also draw back, as if her personal disaster might be contagious.

The hardest one to face would be her mother. She would be more understanding, but seeing her own pain reflected in her mother's eyes would be even worse. I can't do that. She sat in her comfort rest in the empty room, staring at nothing.

Some indeterminate time later, she realized there was an alert at the door. Oh, no, she thought. I can't face mother.

But the signal continued, and she went to open the door, getting herself looking as presentable as she could.

It wasn't her mother. "Gerleesh?"

"Yes?" What now?

"I'm with Management Services." The Tarshen worker said this as if it were obvious.

Gerleesh was puzzled. "I don't understand," she said. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to escort you to your new home."

Shock rippled through her. "New home! But I don't have any—"

"Right here," the Tarshen said, looking at a personal screen. "I'm supposed to take you to dormitory 1798b."

It can't be. "A dormitory! Why would I move to a dormitory?"

"Something about no longer being eligible for parenting quarters. This way," she said, gesturing.

Gerleesh shook so hard, she collapsed. When she got control of herself a few minutes later, the Tarshen was sympathetic, but also unmoving.

Gerleesh took one last look around the place that had been her home for so many years. It was horribly cruel that they should do this so quickly after getting the news, but they were efficient, and there was no budging the worker. Gerleesh knew they were always looking for space in the parenting quarters, but she had no idea they were this urgent about it.

Gerleesh had no personal belongings, other than a bag with a few papers, and the pamphlet the hatching specialist had given her that afternoon.

The worker had a flitter, and in minutes, took her across the city to the public dormitories. Gerleesh would have her own sleeping chamber, but everything else would be shared with hundreds of others.

If you are enjoying this story, please click the star!