Catching Texas

Little Moments

I'm sorry I haven't posted before now! My nephew Warren came into the world yesterday! He's a handsome little bugger and I love him to pieces. He's gonna love his aunt Kay more than anything. I am gonna spoil him rotten. Anyway, on to the story! 

Texas 

I'd noticed it little by little over the last few months and once I started, I couldn't stop. It was in all of the small things he did for me, the way he gave so selflessly, in how he asked for nothing in return. For the last few day's I'd been sitting on the idea of asking him, because it was killing me to know exactly how long he'd loved me for.

Because that was the only explanation for the way he was with me. 

He could never claim it was just friendship because what I had with Stetson was friendship, he was kind and he cared, but he never went the extra mile like Knox. Thinking about it also made me wonder how naive I really was. My head was obviously so far up Yates' ass that the rest of the world had become nothing more than background noise.

Knox made a noise as he chocked on his coffee, his brilliant jade eyes watery and wide. I had very obviously shocked him. He took a minute to catch his breath and I took the time to study him one more time. I'd never been blind to the fact that both of my best friends were very handsome men, but the context of our relationship had never really required me to look beyond. His eyes had always been my favorite part about him, running pretty closely was his thick dark, naturally wavy hair. He stood pretty tall, around six-four from the last I remembered, had wide shoulders, a barrel chest that led into a somewhat tapered waist, and since our high school years, he'd grown out a thin layer of facial scruff that drew the eye to his hard jaw. Stetson was actually Knox's cousin, but they grew up more like brothers than anything. Stetson, however, was leaner, shorter by a few inches and had a more boyish charm about him. He still had a baby face that paired well with his silvery blond hair and the trademark green eyes of Daniels men. Where Knox was ruggedly handsome, Stetson had a refined look about him. Now, one thing I could say about the Daniels men was that they were visually pleasing. 

"Um." It seemed that I had rendered Knox speechless. His normally tanned face was pale and his eyes glazed over with shock. I'd never seen him so surprised by something that'd come out of my mouth. 

"You want me to take that check, hon?" Bea asked, scaring me slightly. I hadn't heard her her approach, but managed to swipe two twenties and a ten out of my back pocket in order to pay the check for once. She smiled brilliantly when she saw that I left her a decent tip, showcasing a mouth full of gums mostly and waddled off in the direction of the cash register. I sipped leisurely on my remaining chocolate milk, enjoying the rich taste on my tongue, my eyes never slipping from his.

It took nearly twenty minutes before he actually said anything.

"Years." He croaked, his skin taking on a more natural hue. However, it was my turn to be shocked. Years? He'd been in love with me for years? Why? I was nothing special. He floored me yet again when he launched into how he remembers us meeting. He used words like beautiful and glowing to describe me, his eyes glowing warmly as he recalled this particular memory. He spoke of how he'd debated talking to me, wondering if I'd shoot him down.

"You smiled at me the next day as you'd sat in between me and Stetson, your honey colored eyes full of nerves, and I was lost. I never knew how to act on it though. When the months and eventually years went by and you never showed any signs of feeling the same way, I settled for being your absolute best friend, even while it meant watching you fawn over someone who wasn't worth a single second of your time." He paused briefly and shot me a deadly serious look before continuing. "Watching you wait for him to show up for the Homecoming dance senior year was the hardest thing I'd ever seen, Texas. You were breathtaking in that white dress, when you walked in my mouth went dry and I thought I'd stop breathing. And when I watched you grow sadder and sadder, well it was damned well worth the two weeks I got suspended for punching the shit out of Yates." My breath caught as I recalled every moment of that horrible night. After Yates had asked me, I had spent three hundred dollars of my hard earned money on a dress, spent two hours fixing my wild mane of hair and trusted some lady in the mall to do my make-up because I was useless in that department. When I got to the school, I'd waited for two hours for Yates to show up, smiling through my utter embarrassment, until he finally did show up. On the arm of Leslie Carron, rumpled hair and hickies galore across her ample exposed chest. Knox had taken one look at the scene - my tears and all - when he'd come back from getting us punch and he'd knocked the living daylights out of Yates before getting hauled off by two male teachers. I'd been on my own for a while after because they'd kept kept Knox out of school for such a show of violence. I'd left that night with Knox, crying all the way to his house and ended up cuddled in his arms as he swore he'd never let anyone hurt me the way Yates had again. Of course, come Monday morning without my protector at my side, I'd ended up forgiving Yates and helping him do all of his homework he'd missed over the weekend and doing a bulk of his senior project.

I had never really considered what would happen if my rock, my best friend, wanted more from me. I had never gotten a hint that he did. Could I see him as more or was he someone I could see only as a friend? Could I imagine myself in his arms in more than a platonic way? These were questions I'd been asking myself since I'd started to notice how he felt. I didn't want to jump in head first to anything that I wasn't sure about. If I ruined this, it could mean ruining a relationship with someone who meant the entire world to me. 

I wasn't sure what to say to Knox now, how was I supposed to say anything? 

My best friend was in love with me.

Knox

I'd never really given any kind of thought to what would happen if she found out I was in love with her. Sure, I had a fantasy that sh'd fall into my arms and we'd live happily ever after, but those were strictly personal -- I'd never shared them with anyone, ever. So, what was I supposed to do now? 

She stared at me across the rickety table, her eyes wide as she waited on me to speak again. She looked as she always did to me; beautiful, but this time I could see her confusion, the loss in her stare. She wasn't used to being on unfamiliar ground, but now she was and she had no idea how to cope. 

But, If I were in her position, what would I do?

I wasn't sure what I would do, but I decided I would play it like I always did; I would allow Texas to call the shots and follow her lead. If she decided to pretend she didn't know how deeply I felt for her, well, I could definitely do that. I prayed it wouldn't end up that way, but I knew it wasn't in my hands to decide. I was tossing the ball in her court and going to do what she needed me to.