A Crown of Golden Leaves: A Percy Jackson Fanfiction

Caput LXI: When a Lioness Fights

"Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once." - William Shakespeare 

Caput LXI: When a Lioness Fights

It took a while, but Annabeth finally came to the conclusion that she was not ready to die.

One of the boys that had joined their growing group - they were too young for this too, she realized, they were only a couple of years younger than she was - looked up at her with wide, trusting eyes.

"We're going to get Roma back, aren't we?"

She wasn't sure what she should say. She was scared to promise something if she couldn't follow through with it. She didn't... she didn't even know what she wanted anymore. And that was a sad state of existence to be in, she thought.

"I... I hope so," she said, wishing that was enough. The boy's face fell.

They were all looking up to her for leadership, she realized as she gave out advice and calmed those who were hysterical. And it was terrifying, because she wasn't a leader by nature - she supported people. This wasn't her.

She didn't really feel like Annabeth anymore.

She slid down a trunk that was carefully concealed, and she took a deep breath. She was dying. She was going to die. She was - she was - she didn't know what she was anymore. War was taking her tears and her sobs and all her softness and turning it hard. Every tear shed was like fire in a forge, slowly strengthening and tempering her.

Something came out of the shadows and grabbed her. Annabeth screamed, more out of shock than actual fear, and she grabbed at the creature's face.

A wolf. It was a wolf.

Oh gods.

She gritted her teeth as she rolled with the wolf. Once, she would have cowered away. She had cowered away. She had accepted her fate once, but this time, she wasn't going to go down without a fight.

The wolf tore into the flesh on her arm. She screamed and kicked up, trying to get the wolf to roll off her. She wasn't going to roll over. She wasn't going to die. She threw her arm back and scrambled for something, digging her fingernails through the soil until she managed to grab ahold of something. She swung her arm around and crashed the rock against the wolf's head. The wolf rolled over, shook its head. She gasped, and she grabbed her saber, holding it at the wolf's head.

The wolf started to laugh.

Wait, what?

She nearly ran it through there and then, but she managed to stop the urge, and she pulled back minutely.

"You really have the heart of a warrior, child."

She blinked. "You talk?" she asked slowly. "You just attacked me."

The wolf bobbed its head. "I talk. I was testing you."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course. I thought you were going to eat me." She considered panicking and decided not to. She was better than that, after all. She didn't want to alarm anybody. Though panicking did sound nice. She paused. Half remembered legends suddenly came to her conscious. She frowned slightly. There was only one wolf that talked, and that was... "Are you the great she-wolf, Lupa?" she asked.

The wolf smiled cryptically and bobbed her head.

Okay. That made sense. She sat down heavily, using her sword as a crutch. Now that she wasn't in mortal peril (or so she thought), she was dizzy and her hands were trembling.

"For such a strong individual, you have a weak body." Lupa sounded sad. She sighed.

"I'm used to it by now." She pushed hair off her face and studied Lupa. "Err, is there a reason why you attacked me?"

Lupa sat with her. "The gods have been drugged with the draught of living death. This is a poison to mere mortals like you and your husband, but it merely put the olympians to sleep because of their immortality. Unfortunately, you cannot hope to win this war unless the gods have been awoken."

Annabeth bit her lip. "Except, we're not fighting a war. We're just trying to stay alive." She didn't say that she wasn't interested in being a hero. She didn't say that she wanted to just be happy. She didn't say she wasn't interested in playing the games of those who were higher than her. "And... I don't think Percy will fight either." He had ran after all. She wasn't even sure he was going to come back. And that stung. Because she depended on him, and these were his people, not hers.

Lupa bumped her face against her chest. "Perseus will come to his senses with time. You must have faith in him."

She stared. "Sure," she said a little dryly, forgetting she was talking to a wolf. "Have faith in the man who went and left his duty. I know he's hurting, but..."

Lupa sighed. "I hope you'll forgive him one day."

She huffed under her breath, not exactly happy with this wolf telling her that she had to do something. She was so angry most of the time that she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do.

Almost like she was being possessed, she found herself asking, "How do we awaken the gods?"

Lupa sighed. "You need the Maikai Spirits to turn the tide of the war."

She fingered her wrist. "Those are battle spirits, right?" she asked carefully. Lupa nodded. Her hands trembled but her pulse was strong and her skin was warm. She bit her lip. "I'm not brave enough," she said eventually, looking at Lupa. "I'm not smart or strong or brave. I'm just Annabeth. I'm dying. What good can I do?"

Lupa studied her with wise, golden eyes. "All mortals die eventually," she said. "Why are you any different?"

She blinked. "Because I know I'm dying?" she replied automatically. But then she thought about that because everyone knew that one day they were going to die. So why would she be any different? Why should she be any different?

"There are many people who know they're going to die, but they don't let that stop them from living their lives." Lupa's voice was surprisingly compassionate. She blinked.

"Oh..."

Lupa breathed on her, and she blinked at the she-wolf. Okay, so the smell of dead meat on her breath was something she could do without. "Be bold, Annabeth. Be braver than a lion. I know you can be."

Maybe war was taking all her tears and sobs, but she was fine with that. She breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes. She forced her hands to stop trembling.

Maybe I am going to die, but...

She wanted to do something with her life. She didn't want to live in fear. She didn't want other people to live in fear. And maybe that wasn't something Percy could understand, or maybe he didn't want to understand, but this was her path and she was going to walk it - even if she had to walk it alone.

But I'm going to die fighting.

She opened her eyes, and made herself stand on her own two legs.

She wasn't just going to accept death - she would fight it until the bitter end, and she would leave with a smile on her face.

She straightened her back and steeled herself.

She wasn't going to let the protogenoi win.