sixteen

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phil

"just like that! you're doing really great!" i watch in awe as dan climbs down the steep hill, a rope in his glove clad hands and a red helmet covering his curly hair. he is biting his lip harshly between his teeth, a red flush coating his cheeks and he is almost at the bottom.

when he finally reaches, he sighs out loud, and looks up where the other people are standing, still waiting for their chance—including me—giving off a bright smile and a thumbs up.

"philip lester?" david calls out my name, and i gulp, quickly shoving the gloves on and walking over to the edge of the cliff. he has a bright smile on his face, his hand coming up and patting my shoulder in hopes of shaking my nerves off but it isn't helping.

i hate camping.

"you'll do well lad, don't look so scared, rappelling isn't that hard," he states as he checks the lock on my helmet and attaches a hook like thing to the rope around my waist, my harness almost pressing in too hard against my stomach, restricting my already bare breathing.

"just keep your body leaning, and don't bend your knees. take small steps, alright?" he asks as he turns me around so my back is against the hill i'm going to climb down, many unknown faces staring at me with pity.

"come on, a big hand for philip everyone!" i watch as people hoot and cheer in hopes of increasing my confidence but i just feel even more nervous than i did seconds ago. i hate when people give me too much attention.

"you ready?" he asks for one last time and i shut my eyes, nodding hesitantly.

"okay, good, gale! pull the rope if he is stuck alright?" he shouts right in my ear, almost to the point of deafening and i look down to see gale's reaction who just rolls his eyes and nods.

"oh my god i'm going to die," i scream as soon as i take my first step back and i can hear people laughing, an apologetic smile on david's face.

"come on philip, you can do it!" he encourages me, causing me to take a few more steps backwards carelessly, my body feeling as heavy as it has ever been and i can feel bile rising in my throat.

i take a shaky breath trying to ease my nerves but then i make the mistake of looking back down, the vast distance almost makes my head spin and i can't even open my mouth to warn anyone before i'm throwing up in the middle of a cliff.

+

"he's the one who threw up," i hear another whisper of course about me, and i can feel the frustration climb up higher and higher every second. i feel embarrassed, especially after the way dan has started behaving after the incident.

he seems ashamed to be around me, and i wrap my arms around my torso as i watch him laugh with a different set of people, two girls and two guys that i am unfamiliar with, and he seems to get along with them pretty well.

i sigh, feeling around my pockets to find my phone, pulling the device out and checking my texts, to find no one but my mum and dan's mum. i roll my eyes, stuffing it back in my pocket as i walk far behind the group of people, kicking a stone along the gravelly path.

fifteen minutes later, we are walking back to our tents. i haven't seen dan since the incident, and honestly, i don't even care. the weather is colder now, and i can feel the tip of my fingers succumbing to the coolness, slowing numbing in the pockets of my jacket.

i'm glad i can see my tent now, the flashlight still on and i quickly rush inside to see no sign of dan. i sigh, zipping the tent close as i dig through my luggage, pulling out a soft pair of warm pants and fuzzy socks in order to comfort me a little.

dan still isn't back by the time i change, so i take it upon myself to grab the flashlight and go out in the trees to find some firewood.

i slip my feet into my slippers and grab the large black bag, plugging in my earbuds and playing a random playlist of songs, heaving out a sigh and walking along the gravelly path once again.

today was a bad day.

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hola are u proud of me for updating

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