Catch Me

Chapter One

Death. Most people associate the word with when your heart stops pumping, when your brain stops comprehending things, when your lungs stop expanding. When you are buried six feet underground in a wooden coffin. That's what people think of when the word death comes up in a sentence.

What they don't understand is that death has so much more packed inside of the word.

When you walk around with nothing but negative thoughts in your head of what you've lost, of what you've done. Or when you can't motivate yourself to get out of bed for fear of what waits outside your bedroom door.

Will it be more negative comments thrown your way? Or more memories of what you've lost?

Death isn't just the literal term of your body no longer being alive.

Death can also mean when the person can no longer find the need to be alive any longer.

~~~

"Ashton?" A voice sounds from outside the room that I've been locked in since yesterday.

They've come a few times, always asking if they can get me something or if there's anything they can do to help.

I would entertain them and go outside to socialize or at least give them confirmation that I'm alive, if it weren't for the pitiful stares that I'm going to get if I do. That's what they don't understand.

They think that it helps when the continuously ask if I'm okay, or if I need anything, even going as far as to suggest I stay with them until I'm more stable.

That's not what I need, what I need is something I don't think I'll ever get the pleasure of having again.

"Ashton? You've been in there a while, why don't you come out and sit with the pack, they're all really worried about you." I roll over on my bed, making it so that my back is facing the door.

I know exactly who's outside that door, had it been anyone else I might have at least given it a little bit of thought, but knowing who it is on the other side of that door makes me want to throw them off a building.

I'm not supposed to think of my pack like that, they're my pack for a reason. They're family, but this one crossed the line. I should've kicked her out of the pack as soon as she put her Luna in harm's way, but my wolf was solely focused on if Madeline was going to be okay.

I hear a sigh through the door before the footsteps pad away down the hallway, in the past I would've been able to listen to them for a farther distance rather than just a few doors down, but with my wolf being so closed off and distant all his senses went with him.

My sharp vision has turned slightly blurry around the edges, my enhanced hearing is now just barely good enough to hear someone talking a few doors down, and my keen sense of smell has vanished to become something that resembles a newborn baby.

"Ashton, come on dude open the door I need to speak with you about something. Something about the pack." Anthony, the only person who I can't ignore, he's become my new beta, which means that his word is something I'm programmed to not be able to block out.

"Come on bro." He pounds on my door, making me jump slightly.

I know better than to make him wait, the last time I did he threw my mattress out on the streets and busted the lock on my door so that I'd have to lay on the floor in my room and I would never be alone since they could just open the door if they needed me.

Silently, I stand up from the bed that desperately needs a wash and head to the door, pulling it open. Anthony looks like he just got out of the shower, his hair is damp and his shirt is a slightly darker blue around the collar because of the water dripping from his hair.