[wattys shortlist 2018]
Colton has always hated Alexis. It's as simple as that.
Alexis has never hated Colton though, not even after the night havoc was let loose: chaos caused by him.
This summer, Alexis doesn't expect to be reunited with her to...
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"Alexis... Alexis... Alexis..." A never-ending chant echoes around the blank walls of my mind.
The lashes that hold the key to the world, and my ticket out of my subconscious, flicker in excitement until finally the gate unseals. My eyes fly in an out of focus, blinking and re-adjusting to their new painting that is finally revealed.
Trees. Trees sway in the background.
Hills. Hills decorate their canvas.
Camp Albanica. Counselling. Colton.
I look around, a frown of bewilderment etching onto my face. Eyes poke at me from every direction attached to faces that belong to campers. A significantly larger body kneels at my side, his face is coated with an unfamiliar emotion. Both his arms are outstretched, one curls around my back, the other latching tightly onto my knee. An unwelcome fire sets off everywhere he touches.
This is too much. It's too much.
"Are you okay, Alexis?" he asks.
The world spins and twirls, performing an exquisite dance. Nothing makes sense.
"I-I... I-I, I need to go." I'm up on my feet in a flash, moving faster than any Black Friday shopper you'll ever meet.
I run. And I run.
My feet choose their own path leaving me out of the loop; I don't know where I'm going.
Until, I'm there. Where this whole mess started. Where he... where Peyton...
Don't go there. Don't do it Alexis.
Fear bubbles out of me in shapes of all kinds, my hand draws to my head, pulling at my forehead. I try to shake the overwhelming feeling that's crawling over my body but to no avail. Like spiders spinning their webs, it gets bigger and bigger with each second. Sweat trails down my neck, moving to the rhythm of my erratic pulse. Everywhere tingles, screams in agony, fights rationality.
I open my mouth and let my chords pierce the air. A melody of torment meeting the chorus of sorrow.
"Fuck!"
Anxiety sucks major balls.
I need to let this go. Why can't I let it go? Why do I let Anxiety stomp all over me? I do so well and then BAM, Anxiety comes and pops my bubble.
I'm living but when is it my turn to be alive?
"Arghhhh!" I throw my hands in to the air.
I walk over to the edge of the cliff, my toes hanging over the ledge. Tonight, I play with fear.
Slowly, I outstretch one of my legs, my body turning till I place my foot in front of the other. Baby step after baby step, I tip-toe along the length of the cliff, each step with a deliberate dangle over the edge. Teetering on the line of the living and the dead is my much-needed energy drink. All I feel now is adrenalin. And for a moment, I'm normal.
