Diary Of A Murderess [Completed]

Section One - Melody

“I still just can’t believe it.” John Smith, my employer, ran his hand through his close-cropped hair. “Ethan wouldn’t commit suicide. He just wouldn’t.” He turned in the office wheelie chair, swinging it round to face me. His brother’s death had brought years of age and anxiety down on his once youthful face. As far as anyone knew, he hadn’t smiled since that fateful day. Wouldn’t shut up about it though, either.

I’m sorry I said that. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t care for Ethan but, as his death was almost a quarter of a year ago, you’d think that perhaps we could stop presiding over whether or not it actually happened. I have a sneaking suspicion that John Smith suspects that he has spent the last three months in a state of hallucination; so I’m here to set that straight - Ethan Smith is dead. And, for the sake of my sanity, I really wish he wasn’t.

      

“You’d care too, Melody, if it were your brother” was his reply when I’d brought up the subject of counseling and/or moving on, a few minutes ago. What was the correct response to that? Maybe there wasn’t one.

“I don’t have a brother, sir.” He stared at me in that way he often did when I was completely missing the point. A superior, patronising, you-really-don’t-understand-me-or-the-real-world look. Well, I did understand the world, or I did, until it was tipped upside-down. And I don’t have a brother. Not anymore. So I really don’t know if I’d care.

But there’s one thing I can be sure of, because I knew my boyfriend pretty well. Ethan Smith was as sure as anything not suicidal. Not in the slightest.