Brought Down

26. Faithful

Garrett

It's dark inside the cave, and quiet, except for the wind howling outside. The distant shootings and explosions have ceased a long time ago, but I have no way of knowing what that means. What if the hideaway had been attacked? What if they needed me and I wasn't there?

I hate myself. I hate Julian. I hate my weakness. I should have left when we heard the first shots, should have gone there, no matter the consequences. I would have gone, if not for him. He wouldn't let me, holding me back, telling me that it had nothing to do with the hideaway, that it was probably some minor altercation due to the failed exchange with Burnface, that the sounds didn't even come from the direction of the hideaway.

So I stayed.

And now I hate myself.

The wind outside is getting louder, but the air inside the cave stands still. I wrap my jacket tighter around me. I can't sleep. I better go check if the plane is all right.

The moment I shift, Julian sits up.

"Where're you going?"

"Do you ever really sleep?" I grumble, settling back down. "I was just... never mind."

"You can't leave."

"You can't tell me what to do."

He crawls over and sits next to me by the wall. Despite the darkness, I see him clearly from so close. His large eyes examine me attentively. Ever since I have snatched him from the exchange spot, he's been looking at me like that. As if I were a puzzle he was trying to solve.

"I can't just let you go and do something stupid," he says.

"Helping my people isn't stupid."

"They are fine," he says so forcefully the words almost sound convincing. "They'll be fine—but if you return to your base, you may actually lead the enemy there."

"Burnface can't follow me if he doesn't know we're here."

"You can't be sure." He shrugs. "Perhaps he did track us and is now waiting for us to lead him to the hideaway."

"You're just making it up to keep me here."

He gives me a little smile. "Perhaps. I came to value your company."

I snort. "Because I keep saving your life?"

"Yes, I find that irresistible."

We both chuckle, and it makes me feel, despite everything, almost fine.

Then, he leans over and kisses me.

The kiss is instantly deep and hot. The heat spreads down like a wave, making my heart rush, my chest heave, reaching my groin in a second. He shifts and, without breaking the kiss, straddles my legs, and cups my face with both hands, while his tongue explores my mouth. His fingers travel down my neck, lighting up my skin where they touch it.

I grasp his arms to push him away, but it's impossible, with every cell of my body screaming for me to hold him, to bring him closer, to consume him. An uncontrolled groan escapes me.

This is crazy.

With an effort, I break the kiss and hold him at an arm's length. We are both panting, staring at each other. His eyes are shiny and dazed, his lips parted, showing a line of white teeth and a glimpse of the tongue I must taste again.

No. What am I thinking?

"Stop it," I gasp. "I don't want...this."

"Yes, you do," he whispers, and his hand cups my erection through the fabric of my pants. "You want this very, very much."

I'm so hard it hurts, and his touch steals a moan from me. His hand rubs me gently through the fabric, sending waves of pleasure through my body. His other hand begins to work the zipper open. His face is close again, his mesmerizing eyes fixed on mine. Those beautiful hazel eyes.

"No!" I say sharply, and he freezes, his dreamy gaze snapping back into focus.

I push him off me and get to my feet.

He sits on his heels, gaping at me. Then, he begins to laugh.

"Are you serious?" he says in between the bursts of laughter. "But why?"

"What's so funny?" I snap, trying to calm my breathing.

"Loosen up, not every joke is an offence," he says mockingly. "But, you see, if anyone told me I'd make a move on a rebel, I wouldn't have believed it. Yet here I am—and not only making a move, but being rejected! It's like, every time I think I can't sink any lower, life surprises me again."

"I'm not...rejecting you." I rub my face, willing my blood to go up to my brain where it's needed. "You're just doing it because I saved you and you want to thank me."

"Oh, don't fool yourself." He looks up with a half-smile. "I'm not that thankful. You can tell I'm as eager as you are."

"I'm not. I don't fuck with men. I have a girlfriend."

"You really should explain all those things to your dick."

I take a deep breath. "That's just...physiology."

"Oh, you're adorable. So faithful to your Angie."

"Why not? We're a couple. Have you been fucking around when you were with Burnface?"

The mocking grin leaves his face. He looks away, sighs, and moves to sit by the wall, gathering his knees to his chest.

"Okay, now you've really killed the mood," he says.

I look down at him with mixed feelings. The wave of desire has passed, and I can think rationally again. Yet, I'm not in a hurry to sit down.

"I had once tried to 'fuck around', to use your fancy terminology," he says, still looking away. "Nothing good came out of it."

"How so?"

He sighs. "Well, I was fifteen, still too young for Burnface's taste, and yet I was supposed to be faithful, you know?" He looks up. "There was that boy my age, the only one who kept a kind of a friendship with me. I guess he had a crush on me or something, because my position with Burnface didn't scare him as much as it should have. So, we kind of hooked up. Didn't do much, just sort of made out a little, just once."

"Only once?" I feel confident enough to sit down again, although I do keep a hand's distance from him. "You were a pretty faithful wife."

"After that one time, he disappeared." He looks at me. "He was in a military school, they had sleeping quarters where, like, fifty cadets sleep together in one big room. He went to his bed that night, and in the morning, he just wasn't in it. Nobody heard anything, nobody saw anything. Ever."

Chills run up my spine. "You think Burnface was behind that?"

He shrugs. "Burnface knew. The way he looked at me that evening, the way he asked if I'd had a pleasant day—he knew. I thought I could pull things behind his back, but that feeling when I realized that he knew... the fear... I was aware what he was capable of, more than anyone. The next morning, when I found out that kid disappeared, I wasn't all that surprised."

"Did you confront Burnface about it?"

"Hell, no! I felt I was lucky I hadn't vanished myself. I didn't experiment anymore. So, yeah, I was pretty faithful from that day on."

I look at him with curiosity. He sure led a seriously strange life up there on their space station. 

He's also a hell of a kisser, but I won't be thinking about that.

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