The Silence Between Us ✓

[19] Don't Delete the Kisses

I realised too late that Noah was going to be there in learning support 4 at break time. It was stupid, I know – he's always there – but what with Mackenzie's dramatic monologue, it must have slipped my mind. Trust me, if I wasn't only just going through the door, I wouldn't have turned up.

I guess that for all this time, I'd tried to forget that they were a couple, that Noah willingly talked to someone like Mackenzie regularly (and probably a whole lot else that I didn't want to think about). It just didn't make sense – how could someone that was so nice to me like her? I guessed that I was probably being biased, after all I undeniably liked spending time with Noah more than I should, but it still didn't fully add up. What would they even talk to each other about?

"Oh hi Via!" He was being fine with me. For the first time for a whole week (it was strange to think of it only as a week, it felt like an age), he wasn't acting strange and coincidently right after I'd just got ripped to shreds by his girlfriend. I couldn't see it not being a coincidence but it was still weird. "How are you?"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't have anything to say that wouldn't sound snappy or well... bad. And here was me thinking that having friends would make my life easier.

I'm... fine thanks. I knew he wasn't convinced but there was no chance that I could have sounded fine. I wasn't fine and that was the truth wasn't it?

"Are you sure? Sorry, you just sound kind of... off?" AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH This was not going to end well. I took my time organising a response.

I don't know – I've just got a lot on at the moment I guess?

"Do you want to talk about it?" Honestly, I really did. I know it sounds weird but telling someone about my messy life was actually quite appealing, but then again the main reason I was acting weird was because of his girlfriend. Should I say something? Would it help anything?

Ok just... just don't hate me? He nodded his head, confused. I couldn't see this going well, but I was at least being honest, which must count for something? It's... It's your girlfriend.

I waited for it to sink in; telling him this all at once would just make everything worse.

"Wait this is about Mackenzie?" I nodded slowly, trying to gage his reaction. "What's she done?" I was suddenly aware that this was just me being petty – that telling him would just make me sound like I was shit-stirring. I mean, come on, what was there to be said – 'she called me ugly'? It was ridiculous and definitely something Noah didn't need to hear, especially from me.

You know what? It's nothing – I'm just being sensitive. His face was even more confused, but it was the best way. I just need to... go and sort some things out – I'll see you later?

"OK?" I walked out quickly, my cheeks flushed. What had I been thinking? I was acting more and more naïve by the minute I swear.

XXX

"Via?" Mr Harold called from the front. Shit – I'd been daydreaming in class again. I had a feeling that today was just one of those days where you just have that one thing that rules the rest of the day, in my case the conversation I'd had with Noah. "I'm pretty sure I've just asked the class to begin answering the question, and believe it or not, that happens to include you too!"

I blushed and nodded quickly, picking up my pen. How many times was I going to embarrass myself today? I immediately looked down at my book as soon as I saw Mackenzie and Harrison smirking to each other. Why can't they be the ones going out? I mean, look at it, they have so much in common already – hating me being one of them - and it would certainly have made my life a lot easier if I could just hate them collectively. But no. Mackenzie was going out with Noah and I just had to deal with it.