From the Razor to the Rosary (Completed)

Chapter Six - Heaven Help Us.

*WARNING*: Contains upsetting scenes related to self harm.   

Also, thought I should say this is for Mikey Way, considering he turned 32 the day I posted this.  We love you all Mikey <3 

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  I roll out of bed, trip and crash to the floor. Fuck sake. What is wrong with me? I can't go two minutes without falling over, I sigh as I pick myself up and stumble to the bathroom. I haven't slept all fucking night, so I am not a happy camper today. 

  As I step into the shower though, I realise it's hardly even light outside, it's got to be only six in the morning. Normal human beings aren't even awake at this time. I take my time in the shower. Even if I was going to school I'd still have hours to get ready anyway, but fortunately, Miss Williams, my way too happy homeroom teacher, phoned last night and delivered the message that the principal wants me to stay off school for the rest of the week. She stayed on the phone for about two fucking hours telling me about how I shouldn't have tried to come back to school so soon, about how I was still too raw to be dealing with everything. She was even kind enough to tell me they'd mail me my homework. What wonderful people. (Yes, sarcasm.)

  I get dressed quickly into leggings and an overly large jumper. Then I look around my room and I'm stumped, what can I do? I really don't feel like doing anything, except from sleeping, but I know that's not going to happen, when I glance out of my window I realise it's just starting to get light, the sky is brightening into it's usual blue. I check the clock on my bedside table to find it's 7 AM, I was getting ready for longer than I thought. 

  Now what to do? I don't feel like watching TV, or reading, or just... anything. I sigh heavily, sitting on the edge of my bed. Maybe I could clean? Helena usually does that, but maybe I should today, when Helena and I have a fight she usually steers clear for a couple of days, so I might as well.  

  I decide to do that and go downstairs, but going into the kitchen I realise there's nothing to be done. I haven't eaten in here for a few days, so there's no dishes, and Helena did a wash yesterday, I go into the  living room, looking for something to clean, but Helena hoovered, dusted and swept everything only yesterday. Monday's are her cleaning days, there will be nothing to clean. 

  I collapse onto the sofa, I don't know how long I sit here, but eventually I decide to turn on the TV just to make it look like I'm doing something, I flick it to a random channel and stare blankly at the wall beneath it. After a little while I check the time. 8 AM? I've been here an hour. Jesus fucking Christ. 

  Two hours later, the phone rings. I try to drown it out, but the person on the other end must be desperate because they don't hang up. I sigh, must be Katherine. 

  Sure enough, as soon as I pick up the receiver she screams down the phone. 

  "Helena phoned!" she yells immediatley, not a 'hi' nor a 'how are you?' "You had a fight in school?" she demands. 

  "Yes Katherine" I sigh. 

  "Why? Why would you do that?" she questions, her voice angry. 

  "She deserved what she got!" I tell her harshly. 

  "And why did she deserve it?" she demands. 

  "She was saying shit about Gerard!" I say loudly, my anger growing instantly. Katherine merely sighs. 

  "Hadley, Gerard is gone." she tells me, her voice quieter but still not calm "You are going to have to get over it, you can't go round beating people up" she says.