Property of Billie Eilish (✓)

004

"Billie! How was school?" Some man says, rushing over to Billie and pulling her into a hug. Billie wraps her arms around him and cuddles into him.

"It was okay" she mumbles "I have a friend, her name is Riley" she raises a hand and points at me, the other hand still wrapped around the man's side.

"Oh, hello" the man smiles at me "I'm Finneas, Billie's brother"

I wave and stand there awkwardly. Billie pulls away from her brother and then starts walking. Me and Finneas follow her in silence. When we get to the door, Billie knocks and it opens instantly.

I watch as Billie is fussed over by her parents. Billie accepts the affection, and seems to enjoy it (It's hard to tell) but does nothing to give any back. She decides she's had enough, and walks upstairs. I wave to her parents, who smile at me, and I follow Billie upstairs.

"You can sit on the floor" Billie says when she opens the door. I do as told and watch as Billie brushes and puts her hair up into a bun. She catches my eye in the mirror, and waves.

I smile and wave back. Billie takes a seat across the floor from me and pulls out the assignment packet. "This is all stupid" she mutters "This isn't even an icebreaker. Its just a packet" her eyebrow starts twitching.

"Well," I say, picking up a pencil "Let's make it an icebreaker. For every question you solve, you gotta tell me something about you, and vice versa"

"Okay." She takes the pencil from me and starts to solve a question. I wait, and once she's finished, she hesitates. "I've always wanted a real dog"

I nod and take the pencil, taking my time with the next problem. The math was simple, things we've already learned last year. As I work, I tell Billie about my cat, Spy, who's so playful he acts like a dog, chasing me up and down the house.

We go back and fourth for hours. I learn about Billie's love of music, and how she knows how to play piano. She tells me about her brother, and her favorite planets. Eventually, we stop taking turns and waiting for the problem to be done. We just talk as we work, and I feel her warming up to me, using her hands to express emotion as she speaks. We talk at dinner, and we talk on the way back up to her room.

I listen to her voice, it's flatness not really bothering me anymore. I was interested in what she had to say, and I knew she felt the same.

In the middle of a discussion about pet peeves, my phone rings. I hold a finger up to Billie and answer.

"Hello?"

"Riley. Do you have the slightest idea of what time it is? It's damn near 10 o'clock, and you are still at your friends house. Do you ever plan on coming home?"

"Uh, im sorry mom, I-"

"Put me on the phone with your so called friends parent. If it's a boy, oh so help me god-"

I sigh. "Hey, Billie? My mom wants to talk to your mom"

Billie blinks and takes the phone from my hand and leaves the room. I notice her journal on her bed, and although I am curious, I don't touch it. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we're starting to build up.

"Here" Billie says after a few minutes of being downstairs, tossing me my phone "My mom and your mom get along nice. You're going to stay over because finneas isn't here right now to drive you home." She rummages through her drawers and tosses me shorts and a black T-shirt.

"You can go change in the bathroom. Its down the hall."

I thank her and make my way out with the clothes and into the bathroom.

-

Mom told Riley's mom that she's raising a great kid, and she said because of my issue i didn't really have friends anymore. How it was a huge improvement for me. Riley's mom was flattered, proud of her daughter for being so great at doing charity work.

To them, I am a charity case. As soon as I tell them what I have, they soften. They follow me around, trying to make me comfortable. Riley doesn't do that. She doesn't baby me. She's just... there. Thats because she doesn't know, and I like that. I don't need anyone else to pity me.

they're coming for you.
Nobody loves you.
stupid, stupid, stupid.
How's it feel? how's it feel to be worthless?

-

"Hey" I say, smiling at Billie. She doesn't notice me, her head down as she writes in her journal. "Billie? You okay?"

"Worthless" She hisses, slamming the journal closed and putting her hands over her eyes "I'm fine. Everything's going fine. Are you ready for bed?"

"Yeah" I say. Billie gets up and goes into her closet, handing me a blanket and pillow. "You'll be on the floor"

I shrug and get myself comfortable on the floor. Billie sets her alarm, and turns off the lights. I don't fall asleep until Billie does, her constant mumbling keeping me awake. When she goes silent, i get up from the floor to look at her. Her hair was in her face, so I carefully moved it away before settling back on the floor.

"Goodnight, Billie" i mumble before drifting off.