Begin Again; Choi Yeonjun

Seven

Yeonjun's POV:

Two days had passed since the accident. Haneul was released from the hospital and went with Rocky's mom to get ready for the funeral. She was completely gone, she wouldn't talk or make any kind of expressions and that made everything more difficult for me. I wasn't sure if she would react soon, or if she was going to be numb for an uncertain period of time.

My parents were devastated with the news of Rocky's passing, but they were incredibly supportive not only with me, but with his family as well. When I finally got home, reality hit me like a truck, I still couldn't believe what happened and how fast things can actually change. I struggled with sleeping, eating, or even concentrating, but the worst and most difficult part was that I had to pretend that I was strong, so the ones around me could probably find some kind of hope.

I took a long shower before I prepared myself for the next two days we'd spend at the funeral. I never thought I would have to wear a black suit like this for his last goodbye, I always thought it would be for his wedding.

My mom peeked her head in my room, knocking on the door.

"Are you ready, honey?" She asked. I sighed, coming back to my senses and I nodded. She entered the room and fixed my tie, brushing my bangs with her fingers. "You're doing well, you're so strong. I'm really proud of you" She smiled bitterly, wrapping me in a tight and warm hug that I instantly responded.

"Thank you, mom" I said when we pulled back. She placed her arm around my waist and we walked together to our car.

As soon as I arrived at Ricky's home, I could hear muffled sobs. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I was ready to keep my head up for him.

All of his friends and family were there. The place was quiet and you only got to hear a few people whispering. A picture of him was placed in the middle of the living room, surrounded by flowers and light candles. My heart ached when I stared at his face in that photo, and I could feel a knot forming in my throat. I bowed two times to him, trying my best to hold back my tears.

When I turned my head, there she was. On her knees, with her head down and crying silently. She was holding one of his sweaters, practically hugging it tightly against her chest. I kneeled down beside her, and she looked up, locking eyes with me. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were drenched with tears. I didn't even know what to say or do, all I knew was that her broken expression made my heart hurt. I never thought I would see someone as bright as her being so weak, vulnerable, so helplessly hurt. The worst part of it, is that I couldn't do anything to ease her pain.

I thought about ten different ways to start a conversation, but I was struggling. All I wanted to do is make her speak, so maybe she could drain her pain with me.

"That is..." I muttered, she gave me a quick glance, and then squeezed the hoodie she was holding.

"His favorite hoodie" She said. "It smells like him".

I sighed, nodding. I looked down at my fingers.

"I can't believe he is gone" I whispered. I heard her taking a deep, shaky breath before she exhaled.

I finally looked to my right, staring at her. She wasn't looking at me anymore.

"I don't know how I'm going to live without him". She confessed, sniffling. "The moment he died, he took my soul with him".

I took a shaky breath, and hesitantly placed my hand on hers. I felt her tensing at my sudden touch, but she didn't look at me.

"It's not going to be easy... It's going to hurt for a long while, but you will heal eventually, we all will" I assured her, gently squeezing her hand.