I've been again sitting there nowhere down on the ground pretending to appear absent with my hands stroking his legs, when I heard voices - his own and his wife's, and they were talking gaily about inviting me and other children to their house to play.
He had a kind of diary, she wrote the stuff he got to buy and other pleasant family duties, it looked kinda cute children book or something. I was touching his legs in a speechless confession of a love long gone. But he was happily unreal and it seemed either he never noticed it or... He was delighted in a way that someone down there was still so in love with him.
Then I dissolved from that place and headed to the garden, all covered with a curtain of unwind flowering everything almost invisible house so tiny inside a jungle of jingle leaves and odorous invasion of bloom I think hidden there the rarest species the weirdest colours the gentliest melodies of windy minded thoughtless aura sounds. There was him sitting on a bench of this tiny housed garden calmly and blissfully absorbed in sweet sleep. My master was alive just sleeping how strikingly wonderful is to know he never died.. And still I stood there staring at the Beauty itself.
So the hours passed in a mesmerising mist of purest vision, so my eyes were delighted to rest upon my Master's beauty, so the evening spilled slowly like a gentle start of the summer rain, dripping on the open mouths of the flowers, showering the green kingdom of unreal nature, the light gone mystified as the sun was getting ready to change the guard with the moon. So my mind slowly grew restless upon his calm dreaming soul, and I got down to my knees and prayed he would open his eyes and see me and never be hurt by the sight.
And when the time came I was the closest, and though I doubted he still haven't reached his Loved one, I nurtured a hope (weirdly), so I listened to his precious voice knowing he was so generous to speak to me. So my hands were in panic of some careless lover, trying to reach within a touch, to heal with desire, to confess without words (I was speechless). With my hands searching for his reality, I felt only that he was an eternal Warmth, a kind Soul, a Lover by his name.
So let the doubts stay for another seconds, I'd love so painfully to be near him for a day or a minute for he's alive, hiding in that alcove under the stars, speaking through the sea waves, telling his poems with the sad voice of an ocean. Oscar, wish you were here but afraid you'll feel desperate about this place. Wish I was something that you'll be always carrying with you, within your need, a slightest touch, a dialogue of senses... Wish you'll call for me as I call for you these greyish days and coal nights. For the wisdom is in you, and it's name is Love. God save your shining soul... if I'll be ever heading somewhere I wish my way was chosen by God, and if the end of this way can lead somewhere I wish it lead to you. And if I'll reach your lips someday I'd wish of kissing them forever. And if your eyes will look upon me someday I wish it's eternity
~ Dedicated to my sweet Oscar ~
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
