Chapter Seventeen

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Chapter Seventeen

River

One week later, and Aiden and I were eating lunch in the cafeteria. "Bowie's gonna be pissed," Aiden said, taking a bite of his sandwich. I was stabbing my food with my fork more than I was eating it. I knew the bruise that appeared on my left eye last night after fighting against another student would spark a big argument the moment Bowie saw it, and I was not prepared for it.

I wanted to tell her earlier, but I just didn't find the right time to. I'd gotten into underground fighting a few months after starting college, and with each fight, I became better. People at Blue Oak knew about it. They never mentioned it, but I could tell some of them were either scared or, mostly girls, were attracted and came to watch every fight. That's how I managed to have sex with most girls at Blue Oak. They saw me fight and wanted to sleep with me to then brag about it to their friends. It didn't bother me, but I knew what I was doing would bother Bowie. A whole fucking lot.

My motivation to fight was to get out all the anger I still had in me...thanks to my father. After all those years of him beating the shit outta me for no real reason, it made me build up this ball of frustration and need to punch things. I tried it before with a boxing bag, but that was no fun. I had to have a real person in front of me. Every opponent turned into my father when I fought against them, and it helped a lot. I was finally getting back at the man who made me suffer and feel like I had no family anymore. Before Mom's death, we were a happy family. Dad loved me, but after blaming me for Mom being gone, there was no more love for him to give me. What I needed the most from him was support. Him telling me that everything would turn out okay and most importantly, that I wasn't the one who killed Mom.

Fighting became a way of dealing with all that while I couldn't have Bowie by my side every day like earlier in life. I kept it a secret from her because I knew she would freak out. And now, I was preparing myself for the worst.

"Here we go," he mumbled, sounding rather amused. I kept my head low, trying to procrastinate this situation as much as possible.

"Hey, you two," Aiden said, and I saw Whiley sit down next to him. Bowie was taking off her jacket next to me, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see she was still wearing a dress. It was getting colder outside, but that wasn't a reason for her to put on pants. Not that it mattered, because she looks beautiful in those dresses. She did, however, wear tights.

"Hey, everything okay?" Bowie asked, rubbing my back before sitting down next to me. I slowly nodded, lifting my head to let her in on my little secret.

"Oh, my God...what happened?" She immediately cupped my face, brushing the pad of her thumb softly underneath my left eye.

"River, who did this to you?" she whispered, her eyes full of shock. She was upset, and I hated seeing her that way.

"Did he..." she started the sentence, but there was no need for her to finish it. I knew what she was thinking. She had always been scared that my father would someday show up and continue his way of making me feel like shit.

I shook my head to ease her mind. "No," I stated, taking her hands off my face, and holding them tightly in mine. I took a deep breath, then smiled at her to try and calm her down.

"I'm fine, Bow. Let me explain, okay?" I was hopeful that she would at least listen to me before telling me how much she disagreed with what I was doing to blow some steam off.

"You have a black eye, River. How can you be okay?" she asked, pulling her hand from mine and cupping my cheek again. "You need to put some ice on it. It's swollen."

"I know. Bowie...listen to me," I begged, not taking my eyes off hers.

"This is gonna be fun," Whitley chuckled, and I glared at her to show her just how serious this was. She didn't know about the fighting either, but I was certain that she was going to be more interested in my fighting than Bowie would. I could even imagine Whitley becoming a fan of underground fighting.

I turned back to Bowie who was still studying my face carefully. "Who did this to you?" she asked in a whisper.

"Promise me you won't freak out, all right?"

"Just tell me," she urged, and I took another deep breath.

"I fight. Against others. For money." I kept my voice calm and talked slow. Her eyes never left mine, and I tensed up, not knowing what she was thinking for the first time ever.

Seconds passed, and she still hadn't said a word. "Bowie...say something."

She studied my face, then, as if I hadn't just told her my deepest secret, she turned away and started unpacking her lunch. I watched her take out the small bowl of rice with chicken on it, while her face fell and showed no emotions whatsoever.

"Bow," I said, but she didn't answer. "Come on, Bow. Don't punish me for being honest with you."

"I think it's hot," Whitley grinned.

"Safe your thoughts for classes, Whit," I muttered, cupping the back of Bowie's head with my hand. "Bowie...talk to me," I pleaded, but she kept being stubborn.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair, and leaning back in my chair. I'd have to give her some time. She'll come around eventually, I thought.

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