Always With You - A Best Friends To Lovers Novel

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine

River

Dancing didn't quite take her mind off what I said earlier. Bowie seemed lost in her thoughts, and while I tried to cheer her up by dancing like we always did when we were alone, the smile on her face didn't meet her eyes.

After a while of dancing, Bowie excused herself to go to the toilet, and I sighed as I watched her walk up the stairs to get to the bathroom.

I ran my hand through my hair, looking around and trying to find a familiar face I could talk to until she came back, instead of standing here all by myself. It was also getting close to midnight already, and the longer she was up there, the more I thought she would spend her new years away from me.

I knew I shouldn't have implied that others were right when they said we seemed to them as if we were dating or attracted to each other, only to then say that I was kidding. But what was I supposed to do? We both would regret it deeply if we crossed the line.

"River!" I turned to the guy calling out my name and saw Brooks walking my direction with a beer in each hand.

"Hey, man," I said, taking the beer he held toward me out of his hand. "It's been a while," I added.

"How have you been?" he asked, grinning from ear to ear. Brooks was a junior when I graduated from high school. He was often at parties I also attended, and if I wasn't mistaken, he had a thing with Whitley before.

"Great, thanks." I somehow didn't feel like conversating with him. Something was off, and I'd much rather talk to Bowie instead of Brooks.

"Nice party, huh? If I'm lucky, Whitley lets me stay here," he told me, and I nodded, trying to seem more interested in his story than I really was. I turned to look for Bowie, but she hadn't come down the stairs yet.

"Thirteen more minutes and we're already starting a brand-new year," Brooks said. "Crazy how time flies, huh? I came at around eight, and it's almost midnight already." His words were starting to annoy me, but thanks to him it didn't look like I was standing here all by myself.

"Yeah, it's crazy," I replied, finally seeing Bowie come down the stairs. Instead of coming my way, she headed directly to Whitley who was talking to some other girls. I furrowed my brows, wondering why she wouldn't come back to me.

I watched Bowie for a minute, then decided that we had to talk. She didn't look happy, and it was my fault.

"I gotta go. Enjoy your night, all right?" I said to Brooks, setting the beer down. Halfway through the sentence, I started to walk toward Bowie.

As I reached her, I grabbed her hand and leaned into her. "We gotta talk," I whispered, nodding to the kitchen. She looked up at me with a confused look, then nodded and let me pull her to the kitchen. It was still too packed in there, so I opened the back door and led her outside.

"It's freezing, River. What are we doing out here?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest to keep herself warm.

I hated keeping her in the cold, but I had to get this off my chest. "You're upset. And I'm responsible for it. But I don't think it's fair to either of us to keep going with this little game we're playing." I wasn't mad. I was just as upset as she was, maybe even more.

She narrowed her eyes, eyeing me closely before letting out a deep sigh. "Are we really going to have this talk right now? On New Year's Eve?" she asked.

I let out a laugh. "Fuck, yeah we are. Something's clearly bothering us, and I don't wanna continue like this. It's been awkward the first few days you arrived in Durango. And then, we had all these little moments we both were surprised by."

"You're drunk," she mumbled, shaking her head at me, and looking past me.

"Don't," I warned, keeping my eyes on her at all times. "I know when I've head too much to drink, and right now, I might even need another beer to get through this conversation with you."

She looked back at me, her eyes glassy and sad. It wasn't the cold air making her eyes water. It was me acting like a jerk while trying to get my emotions under control.

"Bow," I whispered. "We both knew this moment would come someday. It's inevitable. No matter how many times we try to push those feelings and thoughts away." Her cheeks were starting to turn bright pink, and I wished I had taken her to a warmer place to talk.

She kept her silence, waiting for me to continue talking. Problem was, I didn't know what else to say. As I didn't speak, she let her head hang down and I heard her say something, but I didn't understand what she said.

"Bowie...I can't hear you. Look at me." I reached out to lift her head with my fingers underneath her chin, but she turned her head to avoid my touch.

"I said, we have to try harder." Her voice was low, and it took me a second to realize what she'd said.

"I'm not going to," I replied. "It's a bad idea and you know it."

"You have to."

"I won't," I shot back, determined to show her that we had to take our friendship one step further before we started to hate each other for never trying.

She let out a hard laugh, shaking her head at me again. Suddenly, her face was all serious, and she pointed a finger at my chest. "You're ruining everything we worked so hard for, River!"

"Don't you dare push this all on me, Bowie," I warned her again.

"But I will! Because if you would stop thinking about us being more than just friends like I've been doing all the time, we wouldn't be standing here talking about it. We would be inside, dancing and having fun. Instead, you had to go and ruin it all!"

I hated seeing her like this. All agitated and upset. But her words made no sense. Not after everything that happened between us in the past six months. "Bowie, please," I whispered, trying to calm her down a little.

Inside the house, everyone started to count down from thirty, and I felt my heart rate pick up. I didn't want to start the new fighting with Bowie. This was our first ever fight, and I wanted it to stop.

I reached for her hands, but she stepped back and kept pointing at my chest. "Bowie, listen," I begged.

"No, you listen!" Her voice was shaky, and tears rolled down on each of her cheeks. "I'm not going to help you ruin what we have. We've come this far, and the last thing I want is to lose you because of our stupid needs. We have other options! We don't need each other to get off just to then realize we made a huge mistake."

I couldn't listen toher rambling any longer. "If this is a mistake, then it's the best mistake I'veever made." With one step toward her and the crowd inside shouting thosefamous three words as the clock struck midnight, I grabbed her face with bothhands and kissed her like I've never kissed another girl.