Estella Clearwater pressed her palm against a tree, using it as balance to aid her over a particularly stubborn tree root, the path back to their houses from First Beach was well-woven into the earth of the forest from the constant footfalls that passed over it but nature still took its course, winding around them and forcing Estella to walk close to the tanned man beside her. Their walk was relatively quiet, the sound of the birds kissing their ears as they took each calculated step along the muddy undergrowth, but it was equally calm.
Quiet was something Sam had never really known with Leah, she was loud, she spoke almost constantly about one thing or another and he had always loved that about her- ever since meeting the quietness of Estella Clearwater, the loud voice of Leah had grated on him and he didn't understand what he could possibly do to save their tattered relationship. Sam didn't want to hurt Leah, but he physically could not hurt Estella. His relationship with Leah had torn open and now slowly the seams unravelled- there was no saving it and that ached his heart more than he thought possible. Everything had been so perfect once- and now the ancestors made it so that he could never be happy with anyone who wasn't her.
"Thank you for walking with me" she smiled shyly up at him and that simple small tug of the lips warmed his heart more than a full-blown grin from Leah ever could- That twisted his stomach in pure guilt. He didn't want to end things with Leah- four years together and an engagement didn't just vanish from his mind in an instant but he knew he couldn't be happy with her now, he was just holding on to the happy memories that they had shared together, using that as an excuse to stay with her because he was being selfish and he knew that.
"Of course, we wouldn't want you falling over and being left in the forest all alone now, would we?" he chuckled teasingly and she smiled as ahead of them, the trees grew further apart, indicating their return to the La Push Reservation.
"No, I guess not" she laughed shyly and he grinned as they took a step off of the dirt of the forest and onto the vague muddied tarmac of the road. The second she stepped on top of the glossy darkness of the road, her feet slipped straight out from underneath her and a yelp involuntarily swept through her lips as she cringed in anticipation for the pain that the fall would cause. Only, her body never did hit the ground as arms encased her warmly, holding her steady and dragging her slowly back onto her feet.
Estella peeled her eyes open when she didn't feel the icy coldness of the earth smack her body and her breath involuntarily caught in her throat when her eyes met the concerned expression of Sam Uley- electricity seemed to pulse through them as the warmth of his arms circled around her waist flowed through her swiftly, giving her the undeniable sensation of a warm welcoming home.
As she looked upon his beautiful face, she had the incredible sensation of happiness that seemed to shroud her like a warm blanket and she wanted nothing more than to just stay there forever because, for a moment- the grief that battered inside her like a wild animal attempted to get free stilled and she was left with nothing but blissful calm, it was like breathing for the first time after being underwater for an extended period.
As Sam slowly placed Estella on her feet once more as though her weight meant nothing, he kept his large hands firmly planted on her hips as though not quite trusting her short legs to hold her. Her face was overcome with sudden realisation as though she was just told all the answers to the biggest mysteries of the universe. It was the look someone gets when they finally understand the answer to a calculus problem that they had been staring at for hours- and he felt a shift in an instant as he held her there calmly, watching her face.
A weight seemed lifted from him then as he held her, the shield of uselessness that he had worn like a weighted cloak for weeks now; She felt better, finally, if even for the briefest of moments and he knew that the bond he had been carrying around had finally dawned upon her. The second Sam's presence helped to clear Estella's pained heart, she knew she was addicted to it, the feeling of warm blissful happiness that those two simple hands brought... And that was a disaster. The time had come where Estella needed more from him than friendship... Which meant the time had come for Sam to carry out a very difficult deed.
Sam Uley knew he could never deny Estella Clearwater which meant only one thing... He had to let Leah go.
"Are you okay?" he queried in pure, unfiltered concern as her dainty hands came to rest upon his forearms, steadying herself. She frowned and shook herself slightly to come around from her daze before smiling tightly up at him, taking a needed step back.
"Yes," she answered and he knew that it wasn't about the near-fall, it was about the weight that had lifted in her chest somewhat for the first time in months. Maybe it wouldn't last but it was a step in the right direction. "Thank you"
"You're welcome Estella" he hummed and the two of them slowly made their way to continue though neither talked, neither could because they were both trapped in their own thoughts. Estella Clearwater may have felt better about the grief in her chest... But she felt worse about something else... She felt worse about Leah. She felt guilt swim through her like a savage beast tainting her entire body because she was attracted to Sam Uley.
She could finally admit to herself that that was what it was and she absolutely hated it. The two of them made their ways back to their own, respected houses with only a short wave and brief goodbye. Did Sam know that she felt that way about him? Did he hate her for it? What was worse, if he felt the same way back or if he didn't? Estella knew then that she should have stayed with her aunt.
In her house, Estella ran her eyes over the interior with a sigh. Reaching up, she gently tugged the ribbon from the door handle and marched across to the bathroom before she could change her mind. Standing before the sink, she wrapped the pretty ribbon into a slender braid embedded toward the front of her hair. You could only see it when her hair shifted but it was there, a part of her mother that she could carry around with her.
Sam had made her feel better and it was just the right amount of shock to knock her out of her stupor. She needed to make her own independence, begin to make herself feel better without his help before she ruined everything for Leah.
It was with a clearer mind that Estella got to deep cleaning her entire house. Katherine had always kept a pristine house and Estella was proud of herself, when the sky outside the window finally pooled into a fiery light of sunset, that she had managed to make the place shine. A batch of cookies sat on the table under a dish and she had finally run out of things to do. She knew that she should pack away her parents things, that that's what a smart person would do but it could wait.
For the first time since their deaths, she didn't feel like she was drowning-- she felt as though she was swimming in the right direction at long last.
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HONEYBEE| Sam Uley
Fanfiction"Honeybee, I can't imagine how my life would be if all your gravity did not hit me. Oh, don't you see, darling, my honeybee?" She was so beautifully broken and the moment he saw the pain in her eyes, he knew that he would do anything to make sure s...
