The Final Female

Chapter Eighteen

Dry wind whips around my ankles as we walk back towards the centre of the Vivo. I'm a couple steps behind him but he always makes sure to stay close. My hand itches to grab for his but I don't want to seem eager. Do I seem eager? 

I don't even recognise myself anymore. 

Since when did I have crushes? Yeh sure I had silly school girl crushes but that seemed like a life time ago when I was young and naive. Barely with a fitted bra. They were the type of crushes that you never acted on. You just gossiped about the possibilities with your friends. 

Now... now it was like I'd done the normal steps backward. I'd had sex. I'd kissed. I'd been pregnant. I'd had a miscarriage. 

But never had I liked someone. Liked someone in a way that I was almost scared to do those things now that I thought about it. A day ago, hell half an hour ago, I would have jumped in. Not caring about my body. It had been used before, someone could use it again. 

But now, as I walked a few steps behind, I watched the way his hair softly blew in the wind and his muscles stretched as he walked up the incline towards the wall with the horizon peaking over. Now I was afraid. Afraid of messing something good up. Afraid I wasn't good enough or that this was never actually going to happen. 

"You alright?" My gaze snapped from the lingering gaze on his back to his face as he stopped in front of me.

"Oh yeh... fine." I whispered as I looked up into his concerned eyes.

"You think a lot don't you?" 

"Not much else to do when you're alone for years."

"You're not alone anymore mi amor." He grabbed my hand tenderly and pulled me onwards. 

My hut was dark that night. Darker than usual. It still only lasted a mere few hours of the night, but it seemed like a haze had collected over the vivo. My back ached as I tossed and turned on the floor. Cracking the door open I watched the starless sky move and wished to be back in the cinema again. That was a comforting black. Now, here on my own... I couldn't help but feel uneasy. 

After another few moments of restless turns I grabbed my shoes and ventured outside. The wind was cold, much colder than usual. I didn't understand what was happening. It didn't get cold. It just didn't. 

The starless sky was hissing at me. I couldn't tell if it was telling me to go back to my hut or to venture onward. 

Hugging myself, I made my way towards the roof. Climbing the pathway that Jay had cleared felt harder than it had a few days ago. The wind was getting stronger as I got higher. Intrigued, I kept going. 

Finally reaching the top, I had to sit down. Standing up my balance was being toppled as if a wave was repeatedly hitting me. The hissing was louder up here and I was trying to decipher the source but the wind battered my vision around and my hair stuck to my eyes. 

"Maybe I should get Jay..." I whispered to the wind. 

It howled back at me. Within the space of a minute it had doubled in ferocity. 

My eyes squinted as I looked over the wall and onto the horizon. Usually I could look out as far as the eye could see but now a large clump of moving darkness clouded over where the city should have been. It whipped around and moved as if it was a living being. It was harsh and dark. 

This was where the darkness was coming from. It was blocking the usual intensity of the sun. The hissing grew tenfold as my eyes locked on the source. 

What was this thing? 

I was captured by the beauty in its destructive movement. It seemed to be swallowing the city. I was transfixed, until a sharp stinging graced my cheek.