PERFECT LOVE | SPENCER REID X READER

CHAPTER 8 ❤️

You ran outside of Spencer's apartment to your car and leave in a hurry. The entire way home your phone is blowing up. Calls and texts from Spencer. Half way home you know you need a friend so you turn around and drive to Lindsays where you know Katie will be too. You hop out and knock on the door. Lindsay opens it

"Y/N!" She yells before she sees the tears in your eyes "oh my god. What's wrong!? Come in! What happened?"

Katie jumped up and ran over. "What the fuck did he do? I don't care if he's an FBI agent I'll fucking kill him" she said trying to console you

You shook your head "no no it isn't Spence, it's me." You sobbed into your friends arms. They took you to the couch and asked what you meant. "I asked if he had told his team about us and he said no. When I questioned it he said that he doesn't like to throw his relationships out there and this was one of his first since his last girlfriend who was fucking murdered in front of him"

"Woah wait back up. What?" Lindsay asked "she was murdered in front of him?"

"Yes. They were hunting some serial killer and they found out she was Spencer's weakness and they shot her in front of him. So he doesn't like talking about relationships to his team because he's afraid unsubs will find out about who he's with." You sobbed

"Okay, babe, listen I don't get why you're crying? Doesn't this mean he's protecting you?" Katie asked confused

"Yes but I flipped on him because of what happened with Josh. My insecurities jumped. I haven't had anyone since Josh and this has never happened so when he said he hadn't told them because he wanted to protect me I took it as he'd never tell them and I'd be a secret"

"So you thought that was a cover up for him being able to sneak around. No one would know he had a girlfriend so if he brought another girl around they wouldn't question it." Lindsay said putting the pieces together and you nodded. "Aw honey, I'm sorry. What happened after that?"

"I just left. He tried calling and texting but I'm so embarrassed. I just don't know what to do. I liked him so much and I blew it"

"Y/N, don't say liked as in its over because it isn't. You need to tell him why it bothered you so mu-" Katie started but you cut her off

"No I'm not telling him about Josh. I don't want him to think I don't trust him because if I haven't lost him that'll drive him away" you said

"Babe..no that's not how it works especially with MEN. Maybe it happens with boys like Josh, but MEN like Spencer it doesn't. He needs to know your insecurities so he can know what not to do and how to help you fix them. He won't get mad or leave. Babe, if you're going to be with a man you need to stop dwelling on boys and the shit they did because men don't do that shit. Spencer is older and more mature I'm sure he'll understand...just be honest." Lindsay said hugging you.

You knew your friends were right. You sighed and checked your phone 10 missed calls and 12 new texts from Spencer. Most of the texts read:

"Y/N?"
"Baby why are you so upset? Can we please just talk? Answer my call"
"I'm worried"
"Where are you"

You were worried he might go to your house but remembered he doesn't know where you live since you've only been to his house. So you calm down with your friends and then decide to head home. You drive home and take a deep breath. You send him a text:

"Spence, I'm so sorry. I think we need to talk...can you come over?" You said and sent your address.

"I'm on my way" he said not even a minute later.

You're sitting on your couch when you hear a knock and you open the door to see a nervous Spencer outside. You give a soft smile and invite him in. He comes in and as you shut the door he grabs your hand pulling you closer to him. He just holds you tight for a minute before letting go.

"Let's sit on the couch" you say leading the way. You sit and see how nervous Spencer is. He keeps rubbing his eye and his leg is shaking.

"Spence? Hey, stop" you say grabbing his hand and realizing he's got tears in his eyes and you immediately feel guilty. "Spencer. Stop crying! What's wrong?"

"Y/N, just get it over with. Break up with me." He said and you stare at him confused

"Spencer, w-what? I'm not going to break up with you. Why would you think that?" You asked concerned

"You said we needed to talk and that usually means a break up" he said trying to hold back tears.

"No, baby, that's not what I mean. I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that." You said pulling him close and running you fingers through his hair. "I just need to explain the reason I reacted like that earlier because it was wrong and you deserve to know what you're getting into."

He pulled away and gave you a concerned look "okay...what do you mean?"

"Spence, I wasn't totally honest when we first met and that's because I didn't think this would go anywhere. Remember when you asked about why I stayed in Virginia and I told you 'personal things and dumb decisions'?" He nodded still confused. "Well those personal things and dumb decisions were my ex. His name was Josh. We were together for 5 years. Our senior year up until about 2 months ago. It ended because he cheated on me. But not just once it was pretty much our entire relationship. Girls would tell me over and over and I ignored them. I blamed the girls and stayed with him. It took me walking into our apartment and into our bedroom finding him with another girl to leave him finally. It broke me. I was so hurt and it all started to click. That's why he didn't take me around his friends very much and why his family always seemed confused when I would visit every few months, because he lied to them and me. I was a secret from everyone he loved because if I was there too much and then another girl was there later they'd know and then I'd know. So when you said you didn't want to tell the team about me I just automatically thought that. And I know it's crazy but" he stopped you and grabbed your hand

"It's absolutely not crazy Y/N. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"It's never happened before. You're the first person since him and I've never had these insecurities before because I was so blinded by him and now I see them. I know you're a great guy, but for some reason my mind is condition to think like that."

"Y/N, that's what we call trauma. You went through something traumatic and your brain only knows that. It's normal." He said comforting you "but hey, look at me, I would never do that to you. Okay? Boys cheat, men do not. If I wanted something else or ever do want something else I will end things. Eventually I'll tell my team and family. I just want to make sure this is going to go somewhere and be long term before I do that because when I do, like I said, there's a good chance my enemies will find you and they will use you to bring me down. But my team can also protect you. We will tell them, I promise. I'm not hiding you." He kissed your forehead.

"I feel so stupid" you laughed "and embarrassed. We've known each other a few weeks and been dating a few days and I'm already acting crazy. I know you want to wait and I agree it's just he got the best of me I guess"

"You're not stupid Y/N. That asshole hurt you and you have to deal with the pain while he moves on. He should be embarrassed."

You smiled at Spencer and he pulled you close. You laid your head on his shoulder while he rubbed you back. It was getting late and you were starting to fall asleep. Spencer picked you up and carried you to your room. He laid you in your bed and told you he was going to head home. He kissed you on the forehead and he left the room.