Reality

Chapter 12

I just woke up and it felt like a really long nap, "Harper oh my god! Are you alright?" My head is booming, "shhh I have a headache." Thomas stared at the ground, "I'm sorry. You've just been out for a day, and I thought you weren't going to wake up." I'm confused, "what do you mean I've been out for a day, I wasn't hurt at all?" He looked back up at me, "you must have hit your head while running and didn't realize because you have a concussion. That's why you passed out, the only reason you stayed awake while helping Josh was because of your adrenaline." 

I blanked out for a second, "is Josh alright, he'll be able to walk again right?" I'm freaking out now and my heart monitor is going through the roof. "Calm down okay, he's fine. He went into surgery right away and Lydia is with him right now." That was a relief because if he had not been able to walk again, it would have been all my fault. 

"I'm so sorry." I felt ashamed and then Thomas lifted my face so I would look into his ocean blue eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for," I looked away from him because I know he's just trying to make me feel better. "It was your idea, but all of us agreed to go swimming. We had no idea this would happen Harp, and you can't blame yourself for what happened with Josh." I looked back at him and gave him tiny smile, "thanks but if it weren't for my stupid idea, we wouldn't be in this situation." 

I know he's trying to stay calm so I don't start to freak out again, "what do I have to do to make you believe me?" I looked away again, I couldn't look at him because when he smiles with those cute dimples along with his smile, it makes me want to smile. "Why won't you look at me?" I didn't answer, "Harper, why won't you look at me?" I really don't want to answer, but I have a feeling he'll get it out of me somehow. 

I murmured so it would be difficult for him to hear, "because of your smile." He looked confused, "what? I can't hear what you're saying." I took a deep breath, "...because of your smile." I looked away right after I said it, "you mean this smile." I couldn't help but grin at him. "You're adorable sometimes, you know that?" This made me smile even more to the point that I blushed, but then I felt sad. "I'm sorry." He kept looking at me, "why are you sorry?" I can't look him in the eye right now, "for rejecting you. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't." 

He stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed, "you can't what? It's all right, you can tell me." The thing is, I don't want to because I'm embarrassed by the fact that Jeremy didn't like me. I don't usually care about that, but when he told me he doesn't care about me, I felt a pain I had never felt before. I don't want to, but I think it will be for the best if I tell Thomas.

"I don't want to get hurt again okay, that's why." I told him the quick story of what Jeremy said to me, and he looked like someone just killed his cat, "I'm so sorry he did that. Just know that I would never do that to you." I just don't know if I can, "I don't know if I'm ready." He gave me a tiny smile, "you won't know unless you try. Maybe you and I won't work, but we'll never know if we don't try." I consider what he said for a moment. Can I do this, can I get rid of the thought that no one will care about me again? What should I do? Should I give him a chance, should I give myself a chance? Maybe he's right, I'll never know unless I try.

I looked him in the eyes for a second until I kissed him. This was even better than my first kiss, he's so gentle and it's breathtaking. I know it's cheesy, but it really is breathtaking. We separated and laughed, "I knew you liked me too," he grinned at me. I punched his arm because I'm too embarrassed to say anything. He laughs again, "when you try to be serious and bossy all the time, it's really attractive; I know that you like to be in charge and I like that about you. I also find it kinda funny when you try to be scary, it's to the point where I want to laugh." We both grin at one another, "oh shut it."

It's been a week since Josh was shot, and I got released a day after I woke up. Josh has to use crutches to walk, so now we have to find another way to get from place to place. "What if we take a bus?" Lydia's idea is good, but we could get caught. "I get that, but what if someone recognizes us." Josh was listening to us while Thomas was getting food for us all. "Well we could disguise ourselves, that way no one would know who we are." Josh has a point, "yeah we probably could do that. When you get discharged tomorrow, we'll take a bus to Indiana for the first stop." I said, "Thomas and I will get all of our things together before we leave. Lydia, could you try to find us tickets? Thomas still has money left so we should be fine. And Josh, you just rest; we need you in the best shape possible." They all shouted at me and solute, "yes ma'am." We all laugh remembering the time I said that to Mrs. Roden.

"Ok so we're going to go on a bus to Indiana since Josh can't really walk." I started to explain the plan to Thomas when Josh added, that's fine by me, my legs could use a break from all this walking we've been doing." We all grinned and started to get ready. Lydia got her job done the quickest, since it was pretty easy to buy us tickets. She decided to gather more food for the trip to make time go by faster. Meanwhile Thomas and I were making sure we had all the necessary supplies for traveling. We also all need to have some kind of look to be disguised. 

"Josh, you'll wear a hat and a big sweatshirt, Lydia, you wear sunglasses with a beanie to cover your hair. Thomas, you do the same thing as Josh, and I'll wear a hat and sunglasses. All of us though need to dress in thick clothes so there will be no chance of us getting suspected." I tried to talk sternly, but Thomas just grinned at me. I knew why, he liked when I was trying to be intimidating, because it always makes him want to laugh. I don't really understand why he thinks I'm funny when I try to be intimidating, I'll have to ask him some time.

We're going to leave in about fifteen minutes, or however long it takes to sign papers. I've been sitting down all day, and It's starting to make me jumpy. "Harp calm down, we'll be out of here in no time." I know Thomas is trying to help me feel less anxious, but it's not working. I do not want to have another situation like we did this past week. 

"I know, but I'm just worried we'll get caught again." He looked at me and hugged my side since we were sitting, "trust me ok, we will get through this." I looked at him again, "and if we don't?" He looked down at the ground and then back at me, "then we'll figure something out. For right now, you have to calm yourself or else you'll draw attention to us." I was quiet the rest of the time at the hospital until Josh finally came over to us. "Are you done signing the release forms?" He nodded at me, "alright then, we better leave before we miss the bus."