Bluebirds Without Wings | Julie and the Phantoms

Pretend

Luke figured his mom or dad were dead, or both, and they were placing a curse on him for being a stubborn idiot. Him and Julie stared at the sign in silence for almost half a minute until Julie was the first one to look at him.

"Silvone," she told him. Luke swallowed spit into his dry throat and nodded slowly. He was already exhausted and worn out from not sleeping and running into the woods to scream. He wanted to close his eyes and just have it be different. Anything but this. Did Bobby not see where the safehouse was?

Without a word, Luke started walking back to the house. Julie caught up with him and he knew her. He knew she had a million questions, but she still just held his hand in silence. She'd let him have quiet for now. A little bit of peace, and he was going to be scared to wake up later because she would ask him about Silvone.

The sky was already getting brighter by the time they saw the house in the distance. There was nothing around, and it was complete silence as if he had scared off everything earlier. Luke had a hard time believe there were three towns so close by past all of the pine trees and shrubs. He had never seen any of the area there before.

They walked into the house, and Luke went straight into his room and crawled under the cool sheets. He didn't hear Julie at all as he shut his eyes tight and eventually fell asleep. It was dreamless, exhausting, and he never felt like it was enough sleep every time he opened his eyes.

Julie peaked her head into his room at one point, and he opened his eyes to see her. She smiled at him and then walked away. Luke took a deep breath and then went back to sleep, thinking of her smile. Not matter what, she was still there, holding onto hope for the both of them.

Luke woke up around one in the afternoon and got up. He changed into fresh clothes and went to brush his teeth. He couldn't hear Julie at all, and he started to get worried. He barely rinsed his mouth once before he rushed out of the bathroom, finding her reading on the floor. She looked at him and smiled, and he smiled back, still tasting the mint paste on his tongue.

"There's pasta on the stove," she told him. He thanked her and served himself food. He ate in silence and alone at the table, watching Julie read. She seemed to be on the last few pages of her book, and her eyes would get wide every few seconds. It was nice to see her distracted, and although he knew she wouldn't forget about the sign, he hoped she wouldn't bring it up.

But, it was Julie. Luke went over to sit next to her when he finished eating, and he put an arm around her. She smiled and leaned her head on her shoulder, not saying a word. He watched her read the book, skimming a few paragraphs himself. It was the ending to a love story.

When she was done with the last page, she shut the book and stretched her arms. She yawned and said, "That was something." She turned to look at Luke, her face close to his.

"I bet. You haven't looked away from it," he said. He bent down and kissed her forehead. He knew it was coming by the way she watched him, her brown eyes scanning his entire face. Would it be easier if he brought it up first?

"I was thinking," she said to him, reaching up to move his overgrown bangs out of his eyes. "We should go to Silvone." Luke frowned and shook his head, the tip of her nails scratching his forehead.

"No," he said. "I have to keep you safe in here."

"We'll be fine," Julie told him. She rubbed her thumb on the part where she scratched. She was so calm. She had thought everything through. She wasn't the only one waiting on this conversation. "We can walk there and back. That way, you can see your parents."

"I'm not worried about my parents," he said. "I'm worried about you. You're literally the Princess of this kingdom, and we're at war. News gets out fast, and we don't need a kidnapping to happen."

"I'm sure that if I got kidnapped, I'd be returned," Julie told him, a small smile on her face. Luke stared at her. How was she in such a good mood? He felt miserable lying to her. Couldn't she tell? Did she not know him as well as he knew her? He sighed and kissed her forehead again, leaving his lips pressed on her. It wasn't her fault he kept everything a secret. If she didn't know him, it was because of everything else. Not her.

"Let's not go," he said, pulling away from her. His voice was low, "It won't be worth it."

"Why?" Julie asked him. She reached up to cup his cheek, and he leaned into it, staring at her. She was trying to unbury everything all he could do was sit there and numb himself out. "You don't want to go see your parents?"

He nodded slightly and whispered, "I do."

"Then?"

"I don't think they'll be there." Julie raised an eyebrow at him, watching him. Luke's heart was in his throat now, anxiety ripping his chest open and leaving him immobile. "They won't be at home waiting for me." Then he started to cry again, and Luke hated himself for it. But she didn't say anything. She held him and sang to him. It wouldn't be brought up again.

-

The farthest Luke let Julie outside was the porch and only because he himself had sat there to play music. But he didn't let her out of sight. He sat next to her on the stairs as they stared out into the night. No funny movements, no strange animals. It was a full moon, and you could see the stars individually and those in smaller clusters.

Julie looked up to the sky, and he knew she was looking for birds. They hadn't seen any in a while, and the only thing that made up for it was this old bird book Luke found for her in the shelf. It had a lot of illustrations, and she would read from it and tell him random facts while they ate together. It seemed to be one of the very few things she had left. The war had stripped her of a lot already. Luke knew it had left him completely empty.

Julie held his hand, warming it up between hers. "Your hand is cold," she told him. Luke smiled and leaned over to kiss the side of her head.

"It's pretty cold out here," he said.

"You think so?" Julie asked him. She was in shorts and tee shirt, and he was in a hoodie in jeans. Luke thought it was very telling, but if the Princess didn't suspect anything, he wasn't going to bring it up.

"I've just never liked the cold." She looked him in the face for a moment and smiled at him, Luke smiling, too. He leaned in to kiss her, and she put her hand on his cheek. Like nothing bad had happened.

She pulled away slightly from the kiss, their foreheads touching. She whispered to him, "I really like you, Luke." Luke's cheeks got hot, and he pulled away in surprise to look at her with wide eyes, mouth open. She gave him a small grin. She knew what she did to him. Luke fought back everything that was pulling him back, everything that told him it was a bad idea, and he leaned in to her again. He sighed in relief and smiled.

"I really like you, too, Princess. A lot." She was the one that gave him a small kiss this time, and she watched his eyes carefully. Luke had never felt so warm before and at the same time, he felt like his bones would snap in half from the breeze, from the guilt.

"Why do you look at me like that?" she whispered to him. Luke tilted his head as he watched her speak. "Like you feel sorry for me?" Did he feel sorry for her? Or did he feel sorry for himself? The both of them? It was almost close to impossible for them to have a happy ending. Him indulging in her presence, in her lips. It should had never have happened. It should have stopped at the cliffs when she held his hand for the first time. But he never stopped her. He never had the heart to. Because as much as he knew it would ache, he wanted it just as bad.

"We're at war," he finally answered her. He combed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Julie not moving. "We can't be happy yet." Julie reached over and held both of his hands between hers, squeezing them.

"For five minutes," she murmured, looking at him, "Can we pretend everything is okay?" Luke stared at her and nodded, leaning in to close the space between his lips. He'd do anything for her. He knew how what they were doing was going to end up, but Luke also knew that Julie was worth the broken heart.

-

A/N: I'd say this is a pretty bittersweet chapter. I got kind of blue writing it. Thank you all for reading!