Call me kitten (boyxboy love) ✓

21. Now we're even (NSFW)

I had no idea what kind of bar Cupid's Den was or where it was located, but after a quick google search I gathered that it was a gay bar downtown. Jealousy reared its ugly head again. What the hell was he doing there? That contradicted everything he had told me about not being interested in anyone else but me. If that was true, he wouldn't go to a gay bar. At least not without me. Or had he grown tired of me whining every time he wanted to go out and decided to go at it alone?

When I got to the bar, I was initially stopped at the entrance by the bouncer who demanded an entry fee, but then I practically exploded in his face and yelled that I was just picking someone up and nothing else. The bouncer seemed to understand to whom I was referring and let me in without a word. Inside the bar, I saw Ash at once. He sat at the end of the bar, his head resting on the counter and a glass of whiskey in his hand. For a fleeting moment I cursed him for being able to look good even in a semi-conscious state. The bartender gave me a weary look.

"You here for Ash?" he said. "Make sure he gets put into bed and stay there with him; he doesn't seem to be feeling so great."

I just nodded. People seemed to know who Ash was here. Quickly I got up to him and put an arm around him.

"Ash?" I said as calmly as I could muster. "Come on, I'm getting you home."

He slowly lifted his head from the counter and looked at me with unfocused, sapphire eyes. A heartbreakingly sad smile grazed his lips.

"Jamie..." he sighed and fell into my arms.

I caught him staggering and draped his arm around my shoulder as we made our way out of the bar. The bouncer poked my arm and quietly whispered that he had called for a cab. I gave him a grateful smile.

"How're you holding up?" I said to Ash and kept my eye out for the cab.

"You know, I just love your eyes..." he just babbled and didn't seem to hear me at all.

He tried to touch my face, but the cab stopped right in front of us, and I managed to get him inside in the backseat. As I sat down beside him, he tried to rest his head on my shoulder, but he just glided down, and his head landed in my lap instead. I let him stay like that. Caressed his hair gently and observed him. Something was seriously wrong. He hadn't been partying, that was obvious. There was something fragile about him that I had never seen before, and it pained me to see him like this.

When we came to his door, I had to lean him against the wall as I rummaged through his pockets for keys and when I had managed to get him to the bedroom I just pushed him down on the bed. He mumbled something inaudible and seemed to fall asleep with all his clothes on, but I managed to wrestle off his boots, jacket, and pants. But when I got to his t-shirt my energy had run out and I just sat down on the bed, exhausted.

I wouldn't be able to get anything out of him now, no matter how much I wanted answers. I had to settle for the fact that I knew he was safe and sound in his bed, the rest would come later. I removed my own clothes and crawled down into bed next to him. Felt the closeness to him and the sound of his slow breathing. He was already asleep. Or just blacked out. Five minutes later I was too.

–––––-

The first thing I noticed was the feeling. It was like my heartbeat sped up. Was I dreaming? Something felt really fucking good, it was buzzing through me, down to my groin area and I woke up to the sound of my own moaning. I was on my back and Ash was straddling me, his hand moved up and down my cock and he met my wondering eyes with a dark gaze. Not saying anything, he leaned down and helped me up in a sitting position, with his folded legs at the sides of my thighs, squeezing my hips.

"Ash, what–," I whispered, but he cut me off.

"Just be quiet. Please."

His voice was gentle but intense, so different. His hand was feeling for something on the bed and then he held it up to his mouth and I saw him ripping open a condom wrapper with his teeth. The motion was so resolute and the fact that I had woken up already turned on made me not question him at all. But he didn't put the condom on himself, he put it on me. In shock I looked at him, to make sure he really knew what he was doing, but his expression was sincere and his eyes were locked on me.

Slowly he lifted himself a bit from the bed and I could feel his hand around my hard erection again. He let it caress his entrance and started to press himself down on it, sinking down on me. I inhaled sharply and clung to him; the feeling was mind-blowing. So incredibly tight and hot, the friction so forceful that I groaned out loud. When my cock was all the way inside him, he grabbed me by the neck hard and pressed his forehead to mine.

"Start moving," he whispered hoarsely and kissed me deeply.

And I did exactly what he said. Slipped out of him almost all the way, moved my hips and entered him again. He was so tight that I moaned at every thrust I made, and every movement made his grip around my neck and body harder. His dick rubbed between our bodies, wet and hard and he stared down at me again and gasped, his eyes burning and desperate.

"You wanna fuck me harder, I know you do," he growled. "So do it. I don't break that easily."

Jesus Christ, his words made me dizzy with desire, and the pleasure when I thrusted harder into him as like fire. Ash clenched his teeth and held his gaze locked on me and I could see when my cock hit that wonderful spot inside him. His eyes widened and his hold on my neck became almost painful, but I didn't care. The pain mixed with the immense pleasure, and I groaned. Without having gotten a sign from Ash I started to fuck him faster, seized control for the first time. But he was the one I still looked at for confirmation. I couldn't help not to.

His sounds were enough to make me understand that I was doing everything just right. He gasped and whimpered and pressed his legs tighter against my hips, the feeling of him enveloping my cock made my orgasm build up all the way down from my toes. Suddenly Ash buried his face in my neck and his whole body started to shake as he succumbed to his release, his hole began to spasm around my cock in such delicious squeezes that my orgasm just flooded me. The white ropes of his cum shot up over my stomach, I could feel his growling curses against my neck as my cock pulsated deep inside him.

"Ash... fuck..." I moaned and held him tight in our mutual ecstasy.

When my breathing had slowed down, he didn't seem to want to let me go. His breath came fast and hot against my skin, his fingers dug into my hair. At first, I couldn't identify the sound. But then I heard it again. A muffled sob. Jesus, was he crying?

"Ash, are you ok?" I whispered worried in his ear but could just feel him shaking his head.

"Please, can we just sit like this for a while?" I heard him whisper.

I would have sat there with him for years if he had asked me to. Something was terribly wrong, but he didn't want to talk and all I could do was indulge him. I stroked his hair, down his back where beads of sweat trickled down and gradually I could hear his breathing getting slower and more even. At last, his fierce hold on me loosened up and he looked at me. His eyebrows were raised and wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands. A hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth.

"Now we're even," he said, his tone weirdly amused. 

"What?"

"Now we both have had a breakdown in front of the other."

"Wanna talk about it?" I said cautiously.

He shook his head and raised himself from the bed, disconnecting our bodies. He removed my condom, tied a knot, and threw it on the floor. Then he dragged me down with him under the blanket and snuggled tight against my back with his arm around me.

"It's four in the morning, now I just want to sleep next to you, if that's ok."

"It's ok," I answered and took his hand.

"Great," he mumbled and kissed my neck.