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Ch.1 Hate is a beautiful thing

⚠️⚠️BEWARE OF SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THIS CHAPTER!! Pls leave if this is triggering to you!⚠️⚠️

Stella's POV

Darkness.

Loneliness.

Hate.

All things I'm too familiar with.

Oh how I want to end it all
I don't want these in my life. I don't even want to live...
I can't deal with them. I don't know how. I guess that's my fault.

Just like

It's my fault I'm here
It's my fault my 'parents' hate me
It's my fault for living
EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MY FAULT

I close my eyes and take a deep breath hoping to clear these thoughts. I can't let's these thoughts in. I won't let them take control. 

Not again.

I decide to try to get as much sleep as I a can until they come back and torment me all over again.

Maybe a some sleep will help me recover...even if it's a little..

Letting my consciousness slip away into the darkness. Going into the utmost vulnerable state, but I don't care.

FEW HOURS LATER

I wake up to the sound of the basement door unlocking and creaking open.

I manage to keep my eyes close apon awaking up. Hopefully whoever it is maybe they will leave me alone just for a little longer.

Ha. Who am I kidding...

I listen to the low foot steps coming down the weary wooden stairs

Until they reach the bottom, pausing slightly before continuing to walk closer to where I'm currently rolled up.

What are they doing? Why did they come down so early? usually they'd leave me here for a couple of day or even weeks..What will they do to me now?

Clearing the hasty thoughts running rampant in my head.

The foot steps paused completely now. I tense up, as my breath hitches in my throat.

Keep calm
Keep calm
Keep calm

I squeeze my broken arm desperately trying to keep my body from shaking out of fear. Ignoring the excruciating pain throbbing in my arm.

I can feel the eyes of the person on me

They're watching me

Waiting for me to react

Since my body is facing the wall, I crack my eyes open slightly. Only to see a big shadow devouring the wall.

As I stare at the wall with horror, fear striking through both body and soul.

I shut my eyes quickly as I hear movement from behind me.

Now feeling the body heat of this unknown figure. Feeling the heated breath of this person on my ear.

It's taking everything in me not to flinch. I curl my toes trying to stay as calm as possible.

Silence eloping the room until the figure spoke. "I know you are awake". The deep voice replacing the silence.

I know this voice

This voice belongs to Derek , my 'father'

My mind went blank. My feet uncurling. My body completely froze.

"You thought that your punishment was the dark room? Huh?" Derek spoke with amusement clear in his voice.

"Oh how wrong you are...this was only part of your punishment for your incompetence. Do you wanna know what the other part is?"

I decided to stay quiet. Not knowing if he really wanted me to answer that. If I say no he'll hurt me and if I say yes he'll hurt me. So why bother...

In result to my silence he screamed into my ear.

"SPEAK"

Jumping from the sudden raise in his voice. I utter out a low "yes"

A low chuckle erupted in the room

"Ok then, I'll show you"

Not even seconds later, I feel his hands harshly grab my sides. Flipping me so I'm now facing him.

"Maybe you'll actually like this punishment" , he sneered sickly.

He licked his lips clearly enjoying my horror filled expression

No no no no no no. H-he would do that would he..? He always assaulted me but not sexually. He's....going..to take my innocence..!

"You know..you always had a nice body, ever since you were little child. And now that you've grown into a nice woman you've become quite...irresistible..." he said softly with a look of..adoration? Clear in his eyes.

My heart stopped. My mind went dead. The shaking of my body as increased excessively.

"Please don't.." I choked out. My voice cracking and breaking like glass falling from the highest mountain.

I could no longer keep myself together. Tears bulging out of my eyes. Threatening to fall in the size of bullets.

I've always been able to keep myself together. Holding out, after every beating, after every venom filled word. I always was able to hold my head high with a proud smile after every tormenting minute in this hell hole.

I used to think of myself as a survivor, a warrior...haha ,  how deluded of me.

But this- this..I wont be able to handle. I'll completely break if he goes through with this.

If he doesn't kill me, I certainly will

I hate this
I hate them
I hate my suffering
I hate my life
I hate myself

People think love is the most beautiful thing in this world, although I've never experienced such a thing

Hate also seem quite beautiful too, since it's always been in my life.

Hate is a beautiful thing.