Alpha McKenzie Book 1 (Completed)

Wondering Why

Kenny's POV

Sitting at my kitchen table, looking out towards the cabins at the back, I see all my mates outside. Some on one side others on the other side, it seems there is a devide between them. Sighing I got up and made myself some coffee and sat back down again, this time I didn't look out at them again. I haven't been able to get much sleep these last few days, the nightmares from my past has been keeping me up most of the night. Needing to think about everything I got up again and left through the front of the house, the lake was the only place I would be able to clear my head and maybe I would then be able to make a decision on what to do about my mate's. I walked to the lake and sat down on my favorite rock and just stared out at the clear blue water, taking in the quiet and calm of my surroundings. My shoulders relaxed and the tension in my body left almost immediately, the birds chirping happily in the tree's, cleared my mind the way I was hoping it would.

Why am I still thinking about them and their actions, when they made it pretty clear that they weren't interested in fixing anything between us at this point. Only a few of them were there to help me finish the road yesterday, well to be exact only three of them have been there. The others didn't seem to care at all, I have to say that seeing Gabriel amongst them yesterday morning was a big surprise. But the road is finished now and only the last part that comes to the house needs to be done.

I know they are confused about why I am building the road, but it was obvious that I couldn't count on them to improve my pack and it was solely up to me to start my pack and grow it. Hence why I was building the road, this why others could come to my pack and join if they choose to. Now I know it also opens me up for attack, but luckily I know I can handle it if and when it comes. From tomorrow I will be starting to get my pack grounds ready for when others arrive on my land and only when I am done with that will I be finishing the road completely. I know the moon goddess told me to be patient with them, but it feels like she might have made a mistake on this one. It honestly feel like we weren't meant to be and if that is true then we just wasted almost a year of each other's life's. That will for sure be a waste but I can't shake this feeling that something else is coming, I just don't know what. Taking a deep breath, I sighed again, the forest was so calm this time of the day.

Well, maybe it's time to stop thinking about all the why's and just start to put all my energy on my pack and everything that needs to be done to rebuild it and make it the strong pack I ones believed it was. My nightmares came back to mind, everything I at one point thought or believed about my pack was utter bullshit, my parents weren't loving parents but utter monsters. They treated me and their pack members like slaves, no one was aloud to train just because my father was to scared there were going to be someone stronger than him. Hahaha that is just so damn ironic, because in the end it came and bit him right in the ass, he had no strong worriors to protect him in the end and now the person he and that witch of a stepmother of mine treated the worst is the alpha of his pack. So it was a mute point for him to act like that, but now he is dead and will never be an alpha of a pack ever again.

Getting up from my post on the the rock I started walking back home, idiee's running through my head of what I want to do on my pack grounds as well as what type of pack I want in the future. Wondering who I will get to be my beta and the others I was going to need. When I went back into my kitchen I saw all of them still outside and in the same groups they were in before I left. I wonder why they are still here if they aren't going to even try to fix things between us. I suppose only time will tell what was going to happen to us......