A Guide to Humans

Chapter 3: Alien Planet

"Where the hell have you been?" Marx said as I walked into the lab, late.
"One of my trainees got lost and I couldn't find him." I said as I set my bag down.
"Let me guess, Be'uka?"
"You would think he would be more competent seeing as he is Druka's nephew." I fumed. "Little fucker was next to the engines."
"Wasn't your training 3 levels over the engines?"
"It. Was." I growled through clenched teeth.
"You have no patience." Marx chuckled.
"I can be very patient if the people around me can follow instruction and not be utterly stupid." I said as I put my hair up. Marx looked up at me and frowned.
"What?" I asked, looking at him.
"You have a bruise on your neck." He said, tilting his head. "Did you fall?"
I put hand on my neck and chuckled.
"No, Garmac is just bitey."
"He bites you?!" Marx shouted in shock.
"Shh, not like that. It is a love bite, feels good."
"Doesn't sound like it would."
"And insects don't sound appetizing to me, but I don't shame you for your eating habits."
"I only eat insects and plants, what do you expect me to eat."
"Exactly that, just keep your meal worms-"
"Varex larvae." He corrected me.
"-away from my food."
"It was one time."
"And it was one pill." I retorted, opening the doors to my table hood.
"You seem on edge." Marx noted.
"I just spent 3 hours I could have been here trying to find someone who can't even read the signs that were painted inside the ship before his training session." I said, looking at him. "I am now behind, I am sweaty-"
"And you are covered in bruises."
"Hickeys. But that also adds to it." I sighed. "Garmac and I aren't having sex because we want to have lots of fun on Treplin 3-"
"And Garmac, being a Kraxon, plays rough." He finished leaning against his work table. "I already watered, noted changes, and took your samples for you, since you were running late."
I sighed and slumped over, pulling my chair over and sat down.
"So... You find out the fun thing about Kraxon semen yet?" He asked me, making me snap my head up.
"The sweet taste?"
"What the hell is sweet?"
"Ya know, sweet, like honey or sugar."
"Sugar barely has a taste and by honey do you mean like Genirk?"
"Genirk is a type of honey?" I said in shock.
"Yeah." Marx gave me a look that made me feel stupid.
"Okay, sweet is like dessert. It is one of the five taste groups: sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and umami."
"I think this is a physiological difference between our species."
"So if you aren't talking about taste, what are you talking about." I asked in confusion.
"Sex with Kraxon men is addicting, which is why many Kraxon women have multiple husbands." Marx explained.
"I thought that was because women are born far less then men."
"Yeah, that as well, but Kraxon women are also known for very, very high staminas and libidos, which makes sense considering the 3 uteruses, and the fact that they can pause the reproductive cycle at fertilization so they only have to have one birth for all 3 children."
"And no one told me the sperm thing because...?" I said, motioning for him to explain.
Marx shrugged.
"You are the first human we have met, your kind eats poison for recreation, as far as we knew, you wouldn't be addicted." Marx frowned. "Wait, if you aren't having sex, how did you get a hickey?"
"You can do a lot without fucking."
"Wait, that's what that word means?"
"It's a swear word that can mean many things." I said, rubbing my temple. "Like, Fuck you means someone is pissed at you, fuck me can be an invitation or an exclamation of 'this is unfair'. Fucking can be an act or an expletive. Go fuck yourself-"
"Go self gratify or get lost."
"God I love that you have a brain in your head." I groaned happily, leaning my head back over the chair back.
"You should probably go to med bay after this and get a patch to help you get to when we orbit Treplin 3." Marx suggested and put the back of his hand on my neck. "You feel abnormally warm."
"Maybe, is this a common issue?" I asked.
"Of the 6,000 crew on this ship."
"6,001." I said, closing my eyes as the light was giving me a splitting migraine.
"Whatever." Marx said. "Of all of them, there are about 200 Kraxons on board, and only 14 are female, so yes, it is a common problem."
"Has anyone who wasn't a female Kraxon gotten pregnant?" I asked, thinking around the pulsing in my head.
"A couple who were viable partners, why?"
"My cycle will puts me at being very fertile when we go to Treplin 3." I explained. "Side note, I love the med chip. If we had this kind of monitoring system available on Earth for cheap, I would have avoided needing to buy so many plan B pills and pregnancy tests."
"Huh... You should probably warn Garmac about that, although, knowing him, he is gonna be excited by the news."
"What makes you say that?"
"About a year before my last death we docked on Kraxon and he was met by over 23 little siblings who were all children and he looked like he was in heaven."
"Could it have been because they are family?" I asked.
"Eh, more likely because they are kids. If you are able to get pregnant, while I am not sure it will be a safe pregnancy, you at least will have a great dad raising your kid." Marx said as something cold was placed on my eyes.
"Did I mention I love you?" I said as I sighed.
"Just be glad I have been there before and know what to do." He teased and I heard him close the protective hood to my table. "I am going to the HSR to let Malud know about this new knowledge, do you want me to turn off the lights so you can nurse that migraine while I am gone?"
"Did I mention I love you?" I said again, getting a chuckle out of him.
"I will be back and I will help you to the med bay when I get back. Try not to die."
I sat straight up, dropping the cooling pack on my lap.
"THAT CAN HAPPEN?" I shouted, wincing and groaning as I held my head.
"In extreme cases, but I am mostly joking." Marx said quietly, gently leaning me and my chair back and putting the cooling pack back.
"I will be back in 10 minutes, 20 tops." He said and then walked out of the lab, turning the lights off as he did so.
I sat there thinking about the eventuality that Garmac could get me pregnant and how that could effect me. It wasn't that I didn't want kids or to have them with Garmac that scared me.
No, what scared me is that he had a solid 2 and a half feet on me and that kid would be giant, and I was not looking forward to being so large that I wouldn't be able to get in a supply closet sideways.
But maybe it would be worth it. At the very least it would further science. And maybe we could learn some new things about how Human genes play with Kraxon genes. At the very least they would be a true one of a kind in the whole universe.