Stray // Daryl Dixon

No Expectations, No Disappointments

I hummed along to an upbeat tune that I had playing on my stereo as I dressed for the day. I slipped into a pair of freshly washed cargo shorts and a thin black tank top knowing that the sun would be my enemy today. I could feel it burning against my cheek early this morning as I forgot to close the blinds before bed last night. Daryl was up and hustling around town early this morning, gathering lists of supplies from people who needed them. Daryl, Rick, and I would be heading out for a run today, hoping to find anything of use. It has been five weeks since the walls fell and we have been working our asses off playing catch up ever since.

I still remember that morning afterwards vividly in my memory. I am better now, stronger now, but at the time I was completely defeated. We all sat around on the porch of the infirmary, staring down at the dead that littered the streets of Alexandria as we waited for Carl to wake up. I remember sitting on the bottom step, wedged between Daryl's knees as he sat two steps behind me, his hands gently placed on my shoulders. I stared down at the pool of blood soaking in the grass as I remained trapped in my head. All I remember thinking was what the fuck is the point? It wasn't until Daryl leaned over to my ear and answered You just being here that I realized I had asked that question out loud. Everything after that morning is a blur to me. From the beginning, I've said that this world doesn't give you the time to feel or process your emotions in a healthy manner. It's always, keep going, or move on, or learn from this. I barely even got the chance to know him, but after losing Alexander, I was broken down. I can't recall exactly what happened, but I've been told that I was asleep for about five days. My body forcefully shut itself down.

It wasn't like a switch when I finally woke up, I wasn't magically healed. But that break gave me the time to process what had happened. It gave me the chance to refuel before I began to put myself back together and keep going. It was something I don't believe I would have been granted if we were still stuck on the outside.

I placed a baseball cap on my head, slipping my low ponytail through the back loop before clipping on my belt of weapons. I walked back across the room, clicked the little button on the stereo to turn it off and went on my way. The light breeze hit me immediately as I stepped out onto the porch, I inhaled deeply as I listened carefully to the bustle of the town this morning. When the walls came down that day we lost a lot of people, Deanna, unfortunately, being one of them. But, that night also made us realize the people who remained were strong. They were no longer the inexperienced and scared community we arrive in. They learned and they showed us that they became what we needed them to be.

I walked to the front gate, already seeing the car we were taking out today parked in front of it. I could see Rick and Daryl already sitting in the front seats, the engine running as they waited for me. I sighed as I popped open the back door, sliding into the middle seat.

"How did I get stuck in the back when you're supposed to be third wheeling us?" I asked, staring up at Rick through the review mirror. I watched as Rick peered over at Daryl, an amusing smile appearing on both of their faces.

Rick's head cocked around towards me, "Oh no, you're definitely third-wheeling us," he laughed. Daryl looked back at me, shrugging his shoulders before complying with Rick's joke.

Rick then pulled the car forward as Eugene slid open the front gate for us. We watched as he walked around the car, pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket and leaning in through the window.

"I mapped out some of the agricultural supply places in the area," he handed the sheet to Daryl. I peered forward, taking a look at it as well. "Even if they have been cleaned out, my bet is that the sorghum would be untouched. Now, that there is a criminally underrated grain that could change the game with our food situation from scary to hunky-dunky," he explained. We all looked up at him curiously, waiting for him to explain what he was saying in English. He took notice of our confusion. "I'm talking sustainability, drought tolerance, a grain-to-stover ratio that is the envy of all corns." We were silent again. "Think about it," he encouraged.