An Innocent Affair

XIV

"We may never realize the extent to which our behaviors impact our children, how they seek validation in our every word and smile, gaze and gesture." Cicely Tyson, Just as I Am

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XIV.

"I don't think I could ever articulate what this day has meant to me, Jem," Cressie whispered as the carriage brought them back on to the familiar Mayfair streets.

Even thought she could not properly express her pure elation in everything that had been this day, this perfect birthday, something in Jem's blue eyes told Cressie that he understood. He understood her. His spirit knew her spirit. It was a connection, perhaps, that did not need words to explain it.

"Will your mother be very angry, do you think?"

Cressie hadn't liked to think of her mama much during their expedition, purposefully pushing Mrs Martin and Cressie's obligation to her out of her mind. But she knew there would indeed be consequences, and that she would need to work her hardest to pacify Mrs Martin before Jem could approach her.

"I have spent the day alone with a man," Cressie replied. "Any mother would be furious, I imagine." Especially a mother like Mrs Martin, a mother who had such plans for Cressie's Season. Behaviour like this could ruin her reputation. It could drive away suitors.

In fact, that did not sound at all dreadful ...

Cressie shook away those thoughts. It would not do to hurt her mother deliberately. She would need to apologise and help Mrs Martin to see that Jem was her choice, and that he was the only reasonable choice for her.

The carriage stopped at the corner of the street where Cressie and her mother were staying. The sun had set, and the streetlamps had been lit. It would be a quick walk to the house and would require a quick prayer that nobody was lingering by their windows waiting to spread gossip.

Cressie took a deep breath and looked at Jem with sadness, reluctant to leave him, and hesitant to face her mother's ire.

"I wish I could come with you," he murmured softly. He raised his hand, pausing for only a brief moment, before the backs of his knuckles grazed over her cheekbone. Cressie felt a shiver run down her spine as her eyes closed. "Messy Cressie," he uttered.

With her eyes still closed, Cressie smiled uncontrollably, and she felt his thumb dip into one of the dimples underneath her eyes. Cressie opened her eyes and said, "I will get word to you tomorrow. I will tell you what happens, and I will tell you when it is best to approach Mama. Will you wait for my letter?"

"With bated breath," he confirmed.

Cressie wanted to kiss him again, but she didn't know how to do it, or how to say it. The very thought of articulating this wish felt like it went against every lecture of propriety her mother had ever made her sit through. But it was a day for breaking the rules. It was her birthday.

And Jem seemed to be able to read her mind. He leaned in closer to her, tilting his head slightly so that their noses did not collide, and he pressed his lips to hers. Cressie was so excited for a moment that she forgot to respond. But she closed her eyes and followed her instincts, allowing the emotion of it fill her with felicity.

When they parted, Jem laughed, and Cressie immediately froze.

"What did I do wrong?" she snapped fearfully.

"Nothing!" he assured her. "I just can't believe this is happening. I'm allowing myself to be deliriously happy for a moment before I worry, I am about to awaken."

With a spark of mischief, Cressie reached forward and pinched the skin on the back of Jem's hand.

"Ouch!"