Rise of a Star - a Minsung Story

Chapter 21

Thank you for all the lovely comments under the earlier chapters! I really appreciated it. But since nobody had an opinion about whether I should write the dialogue between Chan and Jeongin or not, I just decided to write it. I hope that's fine with you all. 

If anyone wants to skip that part, you can start reading at "The eight members had breakfast together [...]". But I have to admit that the dialogue turned out to be the most important part of the chapter, so don't be surprised if not a lot happens afterward. The next chapter is going to be way more exciting, though!

Anyway, I hope everybody's having a wonderful day, and if not let this story distract you from real life for a while and remind yourself that tomorrow will be a new day.

Have fun reading!

Akira <3

;

When Chan woke up the next morning, he felt not motivated to leave the bed anytime soon. He was dreading to talk about last night's event for as long as possible, but soon Minho and Jisung awoke from their dreams and kindly forced him to get up. "Channie, come on. You can't avoid talking to him forever", Minho said, his voice was loving but stern. He deeply cared for his friends, and he wanted them to fix their problem as soon as possible. Especially since he knew they both felt the same way for each other. Chan pretended to still be asleep, but the obvious smile forming on his lips gave it away, and Jisung simply pulled the blanket away with a smirk present on his face. "Hey! It's cold!", the eldest complained and his two friends started laughing. "At least now you're awake. Let's get up and see who else is up already. Your soon to be lover is usually the second to be awake after Seungmin, so you should be able to head right into your bedroom to talk to him", Minho handed Chan a shirt and patted his shoulder. The latter gulped and bit his lip anxiously. "What if I mess up again?", he asked, scared of his own actions. "You won't. Apologize for what happened, explain yourself and confess your feelings. You already know he loves you back, what more could you want?", Jisung tried to reassure him, being unexpectedly successful. With a deep sigh, the leader got up from his (Minho's) bed and acknowledged his two friends' motivating smiles, before exiting the room.

In the kitchen, he found Seungmin and Jeongin sitting at the table as usual. Although this time, they were quietly sipping on their coffees, Seungmin not knowing what to say and Jeongin being too tired to talk. Chan softly cleared his throat to get their attention, very much noticing how the youngest stared at him with a desperate expression for not more than a second before avoiding his eyes again. "Can- can we talk, Jeongin? Please?", the eldest asked carefully, his voice and his eyes giving away how bad he was feeling about the things he had done. An uncomfortable silence followed, before Jeongin spoke up again. "Hyung, there's no room for us to talk eye to eye. Everybody else is still sleeping", he explained, Chan could hear by the sound of the youngest's voice how much he must have cried the night before. "Minho and Jisung are awake. We can go into their room to talk", with that, the two of them found themselves sitting opposite to one another, Chan occupying Jisung's bed and Jeongin sitting on Minho's.

Jeongin was still avoiding eye contact with his hyung, impatiently waiting for what the elder could possibly have to say. Chan on the other hand was anxiously fidgeting with his fingers, unsure how to start the conversation. After another minute of tensed silence, Jeongin finally looked up to face the other. "Why did you want me to come here, hyung, if you are not going to say anything? You are just making everything worse right now", the sentence started off in a monotonous voice, but Jeongin couldn't keep it up until the end, and Chan could clearly hear the pain in the other's voice. "I-I'm s-sorry, Jeongin. I'm trying to find the right words as to not m-mess up a-again. I-I know I hurt you and I know there's no a-apology f-for it, but- I'm really sorry. Please believe me. I never intended to hurt you, b-but falling in love is s-scary a-and hurtful and I thought I'd be able to get over you if I just ignored it, but I couldn't. I never said I didn't love you just to hurt you, but I wanted t-to protect y-you and I-I was scared o-of my own actions. I'm... not a good person, I really am not. And I thought- no I am convinced that you deserve someone so much better than me. I-I may be okay as a caregiver, but I'm a really difficult partner, and I don't want you to suffer because of me. I don't want you to be bothered by my sleep deprived, anxious existence. I love you, Innie, I really do. And I would want to date you, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I'm afraid you will regret it. And you are still a minor, you are underaged. What person would that make me, if I dated a soon to be seventeen-year-old guy, while I'm about to turn 21? If anybody found out about this, not only mine but the careers of all the Stray Kids members would be ruined. Me being in love with you brings only trouble and still- I can't seem to get over you; I don't even want to stop loving you to be honest", a long-drawn-out silence followed Chan's statement. Jeongin swallowed and opened his mouth multiple times, closing it again every time. The young boy didn't know what to say. Chan not being a good person? That sounded like a complete lie. Chan being difficult? Well, everybody is difficult in their own way, so what could be so different with him? Chan making Jeongin suffer or even bothering the younger? How could the leader ever think that? An uncountable number of questions formed in Jeongin's head. He was so confused and overwhelmed, that he couldn't even comprehend what the confession of Chan's feelings for the younger actually meant.