Adopted by Billie Eilish

ten

                        *time skip*
its been a few weeks now. i've started eating 2 meals a day now. i haven't stopped self harming but it is less frequent. i'm having a few really bad panic attacks a day now though. one was so bad that billie took me to the hospital for them to help. it was really scary.

billies tics have been playing up a lot recently and i know its my fault.

i just don't know what to do anymore. i've slept in billies bed pretty much since i got here. i feel safe with her. i don't like being alone with my thoughts. my suicidal thoughts and ideation has been sky high at the moment.

we are currently at the staples centre in la. we started tour and its so fun so far. billies doing soundcheck so i'm just sat in the green room on the couch on my stomach scrolling on my phone. 'wish you were gay' has been stuck in my head for so long so since nobodies around i just start singing it.

as i finished the song i felt somebody jump on top of me. "billie, help me!!" i screamed at the top of my lungs. i heard a familiar laugh and turned around to my mama. yes i decided i would call her mom sometimes and billie other times just whenever it felt right.

"i didn't know you could sing?" i furrowed my eyebrows at her. "i cant?" i said in a matter of fact tone. "i just sing when i'm bored. i do it for fun." she pulled me into her embrace. "you're so good baby. i've got an idea. wait there." she ran out of the room and returned with finn.

"finnnnn." she said in a 'i want something' tone. "what billie?" he said clearly pissed off. "so basically, i've just heard gabby singing." i went bright red and finneas looked at me with wide eyes. "can she please come on stage with me to sing 'wish you were gay'?" he looked at me flashed me a smile and nodded. billie tackled him to the floor. "i luv u i luv u i luv you." she said in her baby voice whilst kissing him. we all laughed.

"i've never sang in front of anyone before. i don't think i can do it." billie jumped off finn and grabbed my hand. she led me onto the stage and gave me an in ear piece.

"guys can we run 'wish you were gay' please?" the music started. she gave me the mic and stepped back. i closed my eyes and sung like nobody was watching because i knew if i opened them i would become overwhelmed.

once the song was over everybody was clapping. maggie and claudia ran up to me and hugged me and begged me to sing it on tour with billie. patty then came over. "wow kid, didn't know you could sing sing." i smiled. "sooooo, what do you say?" billie asked hopefully.

ummm. i cleared my throat. "i say-"

an: soo what do you think? you ask and i shall give. should i continue? vote or comment or both. knock urselves out. well don't actually. u get what i mean. stay safe babies <3