i wake up to sweet smells of pancakes. i flutter open my eyelashes to an empty bedroom.
"billie?!" i shouted. "downstairs baby!"
i jumped up out of bed and ran down the stairs into my moms arms. "good morning mama." i said in my baby voice.
"good morninggg, how did you sleep?" "i slept like a baby, food woke me up though." i said chuckling at the last sentence.
i'm pretty much recovered from my eating disorder now. some days are harder than others but thanks to billie, i get through them. i honestly owe her everything.
we both sat down at the table to enjoy our breakfast. we were just eating in a comfortable silence. "bil?" she hummed in response. "i think i want to write a song." her entire body demeanour shifted. her eyes lit up and a smile grew across her pretty face.
"could you and finn help me? i dont think i could do it alone." she nodded instantly. "i'm so proud of you babe!" i smiled.
once we had finished our breakfast, we both got ready for the day. it was sunny out. i wore a black and white set.
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and billie wore a black, red and white set.
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we got in the car.
"mom? where are we going?" i asked. "we're going to finns house, we're writing a song baby." i felt a tsunami of anxiety crash down onto me.
suddenly, the air was getting thicker, the car was getting smaller and my throat was getting tighter. my world was spinning. i couldn't breathe.
i felt the car stop and two arms pulling me towards the body. i was on my mamas lap. i couldn't make out what she was saying. it all just sounded muffled. i tried to listen to what she was saying but i couldnt get myself to focus.
billie took my hand and led it to her pulse on her neck. "breathe with me baby. in...out...in...out. in through your nose and out through your mouth. well done baby. you're doing amazing. im so proud of you."
i had finally calmed down so i climbed back into my seat and we continued the short drive. something good about billie is that she doesn't baby me after i've had a panic attack. she lets me get on with my shit. she knows if i don't feel good i will tell her. i will tell her if i don't feel good. i trust her. with my life.
*time skip*
billies just went to taco bell to get us food. we've made a melody, its lyric time now. the melody is an acoustic guitar. its very calming.
an: we are going to pretend 'male fantasy' doesn't exist at all. okay? thanks<3
we have the melody playing on repeat whilst we try and come up with lyrics. "hey finn?" he hummed in response. "what if its about how much pressure is on girls to become 'perfect' and its about like a male fantasy or something?" i didn't even notice billie was back.
"my daughters a fucking genius." billie shouted as she tackled me on the chair. "thats sick gab, lets eat and then we can think of some lyrics?" finneas chipped in.
we ate our food with the melody playing softly in the background
"can we play that back again?" i asked. finneas started the melody from the beginning.
"home alone tryin not to eat, duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh." i sang, trying to come up with lyrics.
"i like that." finneas said. "practicing choreography." he sang.
"what if its like, distract myself with pornography." billie sang.
"YES I LOVE THAT!" i shouted.
we decided to call it a night because we've done a lot of work today.
we're in the car on our way home. i had a lot of fun today. i am extremely tired though.
"you're a natural bozo." billie said as she shook my leg. "thank you mom, for everything. i love you to the moon." i said smiling. "well i love youuuu to the moon and back." she replied.
once we got home, we got changed into out pyjamas and talked about our days.
billie told me how she saw this hot girl in taco bell called rowen and that she asked for her number. they've been talking pretty much all day.
i told billie about how excited i am about writing my first song and that i might want to put it out and see if people receive it well.
we talked for a while longer until we decided it was time to go to sleep.
"goodnight bozo."
"goodnight mom."
soft snores escaped our lips as we both drifted into our dream reality.
what a day
AN: hi babies! hope you like the direction this is going in! let me know any suggestions. vote or comment for the next chapter. as always i love you all and stay safe loves <3
