Pricing The Heart

Chapter 29

A thunderous sound exploded in the air as David slammed the door shut behind him. He fell to his knees, crippled by his emotions as he hunched forward and gave into the overwhelming need to vomit. He was sick, and he was certain it wasn't the alcohol that plagued him but his decision to send the woman he loved away.

He loved Eloise...

What point was there in denying the truth of his affection towards her? It didn't matter how much he fought it, how much he tried to keep it buried in his heart, he had always known he loved her. Hell, he knew the second he saw her in that tavern, kneeling there, defiant in the face of ridicule and humiliation. It was why he went to her, why he had interfered with the sale in the first place. He knew the second she raised her gaze to him and he drowned in the pool of her blue eyes. His heart had stirred at the sight of her, and frightened by his reaction to her, he had made to walk away.

"One shilling!"

She had offered herself to him for next to nothing because she needed him, and he had taken her because he wanted her. It didn't matter how hard he fought to rid himself of his desires, he knew he would always want her.

Tonight, while she sat next to him on that bench in the music room, he wanted to take her in his arms and hold on to her forever. He wanted to kiss her, to tell her she was right, that he was indeed in love with her. But fear held him back by reminding him of the woman his love had destroyed. It was love that blinded him to Adeline's illness. He had lived in denial all those years, and when it became too apparent to deny, his own hands had pushed her to her grave. How could he live with the guilt of doing the same to Eloise? No! It was in her best interest that he denied loving her. He thought if he told her he felt nothing but pity, she might loathe him enough to want nothing to do with him.

It had pained him beyond words to look Eloise in the face and tell her he didn't love her, but it had killed him to send her away right after she confessed to loving him. It felt like his soul had been ripped out of his body, and it had taken all of his willpower to walk out of the room.

Wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he staggered to his feet and summoned a servant. Once he had given instructions for Eloise to be taken to the leased property outside of London, he spent the next several minutes wrestling with the crippling need to go to Eloise and beg her to stay with him. And he had nearly given into that need when the sound of approaching horses drifted to him.

Rising from his position on the bed, he went to his window in time to watch Eloise emerge from the building. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She stood there on the porch, clinging to her carpetbag as she conversed with the footman, and while he couldn't see her face, he knew she had been crying. He saw pain in her stance—in her slouched shoulders, and in the way the soft breeze swayed her fragile form. If only he could go to her, he would take her in his arms and kiss away her pain. He would bring her up to his chambers and hold her through the night like he had done the evening before in the mausoleum.

He shook his head, unwilling to let his love for her sway his decision to send her away. Releasing the curtains, he returned to his bed. It was the right decision, he thought. Letting her go would guarantee her safety. He would not be selfish with his decision this time, like he had been with Adeline.

David spent the first half of the evening tossing and turning in bed, plagued by thoughts of Eloise, while the second half was spent nursing an excruciating headache. By the next morning, he was too exhausted to function, but he was determined to leave London immediately, for he feared if he didn't, he would give into a much more powerful determination to find Eloise and confess to loving her.

"Summon the footman," he told his valet, who had just finished overseeing the scrubbing of the floor. The poor man had quite literally walked into David's vomit that morning. "Prepare the carriage. We leave for Oakham Hall right away."