Riot time in Paris // Billie Eilish G!P

twenty-eight

"Billie, are you leaving? Why are your cases packed?" Billie's mother looked from the suitcases to Billie and back when she walked into her daughter's bedroom. A deep frown appeared between her eyebrows.

"Yeah. I'm leaving. I didn't tell you sooner because I've only just changed my ticket."

"But why?" Her mother shuffled on the spot. "Are they sending you to Singapore already?"

"No, something came up." Billie sat down on the edge of her childhood bed. "But I want you to know that I'm going to make more of an effort to come here in future, if you want me to."

"Of course,Billie. It would be wonderful to see more of you. Why wouldn't I want that?"

Billie braced herself for what was going to be the most difficult conversation of her life, and patted the space on the mattress next to her for her mother to sit down.

She took a deep breath. "I'm in love, Mom. And I'm afraid you might not agree with my choice of partner."

Her mother shook her head. "I don't understand, Bil. It's great that you've met someone. We all need a man to take care of us in the end, although I can't say I'm not disappointed you didn't stay married to Tristan." She took Billie's hand in her own and squeezed it. "But I'm trying to come to terms with that, and as you say, it's your life and you're old enough to make your own choices."

"It's not a man. I'm in love with a woman." Saying those words out loud to her mother was terrifying, but she'd thought long and hard about it, and it needed to be said. "She lives in France. That's where I'm going." She nodded towards her suitcases.

"No." Her mother shot her a puzzled look and immediately let go of her hand. "Did you just say... a woman?"

"Yeah, I did." Billie turned to her mother, but failed to make eye-contact.

"No. That can't be right. My daughter is not a sinner. No O'Connell's is a sinner and I'll be damned if you become the first."

Billie tried to keep calm. It was exactly the reaction she'd expected, but it was still a slap in the face. "I'm not a sinner, Mom. I'm just in love. And there's nothing wrong with being gay." She took a deep breath. "Mr. Smith from across the road is gay and you don't have a problem with that."

"No, he's not. How can you say that?" Her mother sniffed. "Mr. Smith is a respected member of our church community. He's married with two children."

"He's still gay." Billie felt bad for dragging Mr. Smith into her mess, but she needed any ammunition she could get her hands on to try to get through to her mother.

"Stop saying that word, Billie. Even if he were, which he's not, he wouldn't act upon it."

"Yes, he would, and he does," Billie said matter-of-factly. "He's been having an affair with the postman for as long as I can remember. It's not a secret, a lot of people know about it. I saw them talking to each other outside church on Sunday, and believe me, they're still very much an item. Now what kind of life is that? I don't want to live in secrecy."

"You're lying." Her mother turned her head, avoiding her gaze. "Mr. Smith is no..." She can't even say the word. Billie let out a deep sigh.

"And neither are you," Maggie continued with tears in her eyes.

"Don't you want me to be happy?" Billie didn't raise her voice. She stayed as calm as she could, knowing it was the only way.

"Of course, I want you to be happy. You're my daughter, my own flesh and blood." Her mother closed her eyes, holding on to her chest as if she had trouble breathing. "But not like this, Billie. Not like this. If you only give me a bit of time, stay a bit longer, I can find you a handsome young man with a..."