Annabel Lee ─ emily prentiss

fourteen

This chapter is an adventure in mixed media, so. We'll see how that goes.

★★★

FIRST thing that morning, Emily started her drive home. Her whole body was tense with a kind of anxiety she hadn't felt in a long time. Things went from zero to sixty in under two hours yesterday, and her head was still spinning. She thought she had months to prepare mentally and physically for bringing Bel back to D.C. It felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over her head.

When she stopped to fill up her gas tank, she went into the rest stop bathroom and had an existential crisis staring at herself in the mirror. What if she was terrible at it? What if she was terrible at taking care of a kid? What if she said or did the wrong thing? What if she wasn't around enough because of work? What if she couldn't connect with Bel anymore once they actually got to be around each other? What if she managed to fuck up what little Bel had left of her childhood?

No. Emily gripped the edges of the sink, staring her reflection right in the eyes. She wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't. After years of mistreatment, Bel deserved a good life. Emily was going to give her that. Maybe she didn't know what she was doing, but for Bel's sake, she'd figure it out.

Emily had to deal with Hotch too, she realized on her drive. She was supposed to be back to work on the 27th, but between the accelerated approval process that would dominate the next week and all of the details she needed to take care of—school registration, getting a psychologist, finding someone trustworthy to watch Bel—that was a little aspirational. Maybe she could convince him to let her do desk work or help Penelope from Quantico until everything was figured out. Something to keep him from throttling her. But that had to wait a couple days. Calling Hotch on Christmas Eve wouldn't help her case.

Being trapped alone in a car with her thoughts for five hours turned Emily into a complete basket case. The first thing she did when she got home was straighten up her apartment to a neurotic degree and overthink every detail, worrying that something completely obvious would be red-flagged in the home inspection (which wasn't for two days). She checked the lock on her safe four times.

The other thing she did was go into the spare bedroom where Bel would be staying and clear out all the decorative crap in there. She took the generic framed paintings off the wall and moved the random fake plant in the corner into the living room. The bedroom did look a little barren and sterile without it, but really, it was like a blank canvas. She wanted Bel to decorate it however she pleased for a few reasons. Number one, she wanted Bel to be comfortable here, and part of that was creating a personal space where she wouldn't feel like just a guest or an outsider. Number two, Emily wanted Bel to know that she wasn't temporary. Yes, technically, this wasn't a permanent situation, but Bel would have a place here as long as she wanted it, because Emily wanted her here. In this place, she wasn't an afterthought or a burden or a decoration. Number three, she deserved the chance to express herself the way most other kids her age got to. Emily figured she hadn't had that opportunity in a long time.

By the time she finished, most of her nails had been destroyed thanks to her anxious habit of picking them. Emily fell back onto her couch to try to decompress with a book. Then she remembered something. Earlier, she noticed Bel left a gift bag in the front seat of her car. An envelope with "Emily ♡" written on it stuck out of it, so the bag was definitely meant for her. She knew she should wait until Bel was there, but curiosity got the better of her. She got up, retrieved the bag from where she'd left it by the front door, and brought it back over to the couch.

Emily removed the tissue paper, finding the envelope, a book, and a small jewelry box in the bag. She went for the box first. Inside was a dainty gold necklace with a small "E" charm. She very carefully took it out and fastened it around her neck, toying with the charm. It was a pretty necklace, but what she appreciated most about it was that Bel got it for her.