Maybe ㋛︎

Chapter One

You might as well be swallowed whole by the planet. You fell in love with a girl who, as far as you could tell, didn't feel the same way about you.

Another get-together at Emma's apartment, the night was a typical one. Your head was resting on Joy's shoulder as you lounged on the sofa. A couple glasses were littered on the coffee table and music vibrated off the walls. It was late , you were tired and Joy was faded.

"Just to let you know, everyone is making their way to the pool," Georgie stated as he passed by holding what appeared to be a freshly refilled drink. You lift your head off Joy's shoulder as she moves. "Coming?" She whispered. You respond, "Sure," and you follow her outside to the pool. You and Joy were the closest to each other out of everyone, therefore you often hung out close to one another.

You head over to a lounge chair while Joy jumps into the water. Jenna sat at the edge of the pool kicking her feet gently, creating a current while her drink lay abandoned beside her. Emma drifted close by, anchoring herself by laying her arms on the pool's edge. The laughter that Georgie, Joy, and Hunter were sharing while splashing around quickly traveled to Jenna and Emma, destroying their moment in the process, which left you feeling relieved. You suspected Emma and Jenna were seeing each other intimately, and whenever they were close to one another, which was frequently, you could feel how your body drew inward, how your breathing became hard, and how your heart strings grew weaker. You believed Emma to be a lovely person, which was the problem because she was both amazing and gorgeous, and Jenna had every right to want her.

"Get in with us!" Joy yelled for you. You shivered just by glancing at the pool. You were too drained and chilly to risk getting wet. "Maybe next time," you respond. Your smile quickly turns to lip-chewing as Emma and Jenna come into focus. Jenna's shoulder was encircled by Emma's arms, who was leaning into her while doing so. Even though the position wasn't as affectionate as it could have been, it was nonetheless demoralising for you. You might have even thought you felt a tear escape your eye as they turned to face each other. You were emotional and drunk; crying seemed natural given your situation.

Home is where you wanted to go, but you weren't sober enough to leave, so instead you sat there and watched your friends play in the pool, your fingernails cutting into the skin of your shins while your eyes seemed to stare keenly into Emma's face. After around 20 minutes, your emotions gradually fade. It's true that you didn't like how Jenna and Emma made you feel, but what could you possibly do? You chose not to follow everyone as they made their way back inside.

Someone had to realize you were absent. Jenna did. She peeks out the back door and sees you in the lounge chair, sitting still and quietly. Because it was dark outside, she was unable to interpret your expression. Since Emma kept her busy most of the night, she felt as though she hadn't seen you much at all.

Although you can hear her feet pacing toward you, you are too exhausted to tense up as you typically would. She fills the space next to you with warmth that emanates from her body. You give her a quick look but don't say anything. It wasn't like you to ignore Jenna, and she was perplexed. As the two of you got along so well, Jenna got used to you speaking first even though you were usually a quiet person.

"You all right?" She queries. You mumble "Yeah," but your stomach is churning so violently that you want to vomit. Jenna offers an earbud towards you. You grab it and put it in your ear. Because the headphones were wired and you didn't want to risk damaging them, as well as the fact that you simply wanted to be closer, you move in closer to her. You and Jenna are now face to face as Jenna turns to lay on her side facing you. Your stomach started to turn more as you noticed the sparkle in her eyes under the dim lighting, but you ignored it because you didn't want to spoil anything that might happen between you two. Afterward, you could vomit.

"Hi," you say, presumably because the booze was starting to take effect and making you act goofy. In other words, you were a light weight since you didn't drink much. "Hello, you seem to be drunk." Jenna laughs. You shrug and advance, placing your leg on top of hers. "Can I be completely honest with you?"You query. Jenna replies, her eyes fixed intently on you, "Just to your own discernment, sure." "I believe you to be the most incredible woman ever. The way you talk, the extra time you spend honing your skill even if it's bad for your mental health, the way you truly appreciate avocados, your freckles, and your personality are all god-given characteristics. You babble, "If love were a person, it'd be you, I guess."

Jenna is now certain that you can hear the beat of her heart through her chest. She doesn't waste any time after catching your eyes before gently putting her lips to yours. You were pressed for time, and the only thing that mattered to you at the time was that Jenna was kissing you. Slow and peaceful, they kissed. Jenna's touch on your face and the sensation of her smooth hair running through your hands gave you the sensation that you were soaring. Up until she suddenly pulled away.

You only needed to hear Jenna say, "I'm sorry," for your heart to start to break. You return her earbud to her. You say, "It's fine," keeping your composure, and get up to go in. You went to the restroom and shut yourself in because tears and stomach acid were about to spill. You open the toilet lid and immediately start throwing up. Looking for you, Jenna follows suit inside after you. "Have you seen y/n?" Hunter was close by, so she asked him. "She went to the restroom, I believe. Is everything alright?" He enquired with worry. He gets a thumbs up from Jenna, who then heads for the restroom.

Before entering, Jenna knocks the door. She finds you crouched over the toilet, throwing up. She holds back your hair as she kneels next to you. She then gives you a paper towel and a glass of water so you can rinse your mouth after you're through.

"Hey, look, I don't dislike you... it's just Emma," Jenna begins. You interrupt her to say, "I know," and then you quickly exit the bathroom without saying anything further. You were too defiant to allow Jenna to witness your distress.

There were only two possibilities that came to mind: either call an Uber and go home, or look for a distraction. You spot Joy across the room , dancing the night away. 'Perfect' you thought. Joy was by far your closest friend; little doubt she would agree to help you and would probably help you because she knew you had a thing for Jenna.