Carry that weight (Fruk)

11

He looked at me, horrified. I didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what to say. So we handled it in our own way.

"I..." I tried to start but couldn't finish.

"We—" he tried saying something but stopped before he could. This continued for a few minutes.

I screwed up.

Big time.

"Arthur, I—"

My phone began ringing, and I didn't waste time answering it. "Hello?" I spoke, nervously.

"Arthur! Hey, I hope everything is going well. I finished early so that you can bring Francis back," my brother spoke. I felt so much relief. "Alright! We will head there soon," I uttered. This was the perfect way to get out of this right now.

Although it sounded like being with Lucile was an errand, I was beyond relieved to escape Francis. Now, I only hope he doesn't tell anyone.

I hung up on my brother and smiled awkwardly at Francis. "That's my brother...we should be heading back..."

"Oh, right! Alistair! Hahaha....yeah...."

Silence....it was killing me.

"Hey, can we just forget about this...I don't want it to ruin our friendship, and my brother he..."

"NO! OF COURSE! I understand! It's forgotten! No worries..."

Francis laughed a bit, but I could tell it was bothering him. However, I couldn't do much about it; the cat was out of the bag....and was wrecking everything in its way. This was never how I pictured confessing to him. I mean, I wasn't planning on it ever, but I got overwhelmed and threw up something that was on my mind.

That was the only thing I could come up with. I had way fewer conspiring secrets than that.

"Well, we shouldn't waste time; let's go," he spoke. Francis was the first to stand up, and I followed his movements. This was definitely going to ruin our friendship. What was left of it anyway.

I wanted to slap myself in the face! This was too embarrassing.

As we faced each other, I nodded and began to walk towards the door. "Hey, it won't be weird, right?" I asked, laughing. Francis and I walked beside each other toward the front door. He nodded slowly, but I knew it wouldn't not be weird.

~
As we arrived at their home, I felt very awkward from the long silence I had just endured. He didn't say anything to me at all. It was ridiculous.

Well, I never imagined I'd make it past thirty; I suppose this was why. My young self already knew I would probably kill myself from embarrassment.

I mean, what was I thinking? Of course, he wouldn't respond to what I said. I mean, I suppose I wasn't really thinking at all. This is fine! Once I drop him off, I will leave and never come back. I'll move to another country! Start a new life. I hear Switzerland is lovely this time of year.

"Hey! Nice seeing my two favourite people!"

My brother was full of shit!

"Hello, darling! Sorry we are late, we walked," Francis spoke. He kissed my brother on his cheek, and I awkwardly cleared my throat.

My brother looked at me with a smile, pulling me closer. "Ah, come on, Arthur! Come in!" He laughed.

"Oh, I really shouldn't...."

"Come on!" He demanded. My brother pulled me inside in front of Francis. Exposing this wonderful, romantic sight. "Whoa!" Francis spoke. There were huge flowers, presumably for him, a card, some pastries, and a gift bag. It looked as if he was showing Francis he cared for him. However, this seemed like a personal situation, and it confused me why he wanted me to be there.

"Ah, I should probably go," I laughed. Francis shot his head toward me, causing me to jump. "What? Already? You should stay!" He spoke. He looked as if the shock had disappeared and had finally processed what I said to him. Now, he seemed more eager.

"Ah, I'd love to, but I have...uh...this thing...At Uhh..." I looked at my wrist, but to my dismay, there wasn't a watch. "Right about now..." I added. My brother looked at me, confused, but I started to back away toward the door.

"Really? You don't want to stay for a bit longer?" Francis asked. I looked at him confused and lifted a brow. Why did he want me to stay so bad? I would instead jump off the cliffs of Dover.

"Mmmm...I think I'll have to pass on this one," I spoke. Francis looked at me sadly, but I only backed away to leave. "Oh, okay. Well, we should get together again, it was nice. If that's okay, of course," he spoke. He smiled at me, and the worry of him being awkward left me. I think he had gotten over it very quickly as to why; I have no idea.

I couldn't help but smile at him slightly as he gave me this hopeful expression. I was sure he wanted to see me another time so we could talk about what happened. Which I would rather avoid, but...maybe that aspect might be good for me. Perhaps this would help me put my feelings to rest. Then, I can focus on what to do with my brother without worrying that my feelings will interfere.

"Yes, that is fine with me," I spoke. I smiled at him, and his once unsure expression turned happy. Francis smiled back at me, and I felt everything would be fine.

"Alright, well, I should get going, have a great afternoon," I spoke. I waved goodbye to my brother and turned around. I still felt a bit shaken up, but it wasn't anything that couldn't go away tonight. I need to take deep breaths and stay calm. Francis seemed okay, my brother didn't know, and he did that extravagant surprise for Francis, and I was fine.

"Alright...goodbye, Arthur," Francis spoke. The way he said my name felt different. Everything was suddenly different. I couldn't put my finger on it. "Bye..." I spoke. I nodded at him quickly, leaving. I needed to tell someone.

And there was only one person who I could go to.