The Queen Of Arrows

Chapter 36 - The Weight of Deceit

Marian wondered in the meantime whether she went to Sunday mass too seldom? Or perhaps the good Lord was punishing her for the blasphemy of engaging in sinful theft and conspiracy against the King of England with an outlaw rebel?

In any case, she must have done something very, very wrong for misfortune to stick so stubbornly to her boot. Perhaps it was not the Lord God himself. Maybe the devil found it amusing to put stones in her path. What did they say in the monastery in those days?

'The Lord never puts more on us than we can bear.'

All whining and complaining would not help her now. She fervently hoped that she would somehow survive this interrogation.

'Come on! Come up with something!'

Marian's body seemed to want to do the same to her nerves: It tensed, and she felt like a bow, ready to shoot. But she couldn't react too rushed, biting, or dismissive.... that could only give her away. Guy was no fool, and the excuse had to be plausible. However, the more you made up stories, the easier it was to get caught up in them and fall over your own lies. Guy had dropped the polite phrases and was thus speaking more or less at eye level with her. Still, Marian was not allowed to indulge in the naivety that he would have been sympathetic to the truth.

"I'm really relieved you found him!" she said therefore, placing a hand over her chest and exhaling in mock relief. "As you can see," she pointed to her dirty clothes, "Bayard threw me off. You know how stubborn he is sometimes."

Did that sound plausible? Did he believe her? After all, she claimed the ride had been pleasant a moment ago. How could she have been so stupid?! Hopefully, she hadn't set her own traps with that, which were now her undoing.

"I see."

Damn. He didn't sound convinced.

"And for what reason was he tied up with another steed?"

Marian wanted to groan. He didn't believe her. Of course, he didn't.Only with difficulty could she stop herself from sliding back and forth on her bottom. Had the piercing gaze been cradled in him by his father? Obviously. And she didn't like it. Yet Guy was hardly second to the sheriff in many respects.

"Forgive me, but how should I know? Maybe someone found him and tied him up there? There's hardly anyone at these times who wouldn't immediately take a free-roaming horse with a kiss of the hand. Where, after all, people hardly have anything left to live on." The little side blow happened unintentionally. Marian did not notice it until after uttered it but would not have taken it back either. Inwardly, she even patted herself on the back for those words. Robin's arrogance was perhaps a wee bit infectious.

On the other hand, Guy heaved an exasperated sigh and loosened his tense posture to run his fingers through his dark hair. She could literally read the words on his face: 'Don't take me for a fool!'

"Marian, I know you have a soft heart and much compassion for the common people," he restated, but there was not the understanding she would have wished and hoped for. Of course, it wasn't. Sometimes wishes just weren't heard, and people you loved or cherished didn't understand you even when you desperately tried to show them another point of view.

Guy was a man of the law and loyal to the Crown. To him, the world was simple-minded: The Regent was appointed by God, and thus one had to do what he asked. Without questioning, without doubting. For to challenge the king would be like doubting God. This was his father's opinion, a large part of the nobility and, of course, the people for a long time. They did not have the right to question the Crown - nor the laws. Marian could understand it in a way.

"The king levies the taxes, and the citizens must pay them. That's just the way the law is."

"But it's not fair!" said Marian, bracing herself for an argument she and Guy had not had for the first time. She had had this discussion with her father and him in various forms a thousand times before. But in the end, her voice was always crushed by the dominance of male command. She was so incredibly tired of it. Why could they not understand?

"Right does not always mean justice, Marian. That may sound harsh, but that's the way it is."Marian groaned and rolled her eyes. Frustration and despair mixed into an explosive mixture. How many times were they going to say that? Did her father or Guy think that she would one day swallow it just because they prayed it down a lot?

It was as if she were a stone that only needed to be hewn long enough for it to take the shape he wanted finally. But always looking away wouldn't help. She had always looked away in the past, and it had cost Gillian her life. Gillian and her mother - they would have understood Marian. They would have had her back. She was sure of that. Looking the other way didn't make anything better.

"You've got to stop swimming against the tide, Marian. Your father, or even I, can't keep covering for you. And we can't do anything about the circumstances. Not me, not YOU." Guy's expression hardened, and his lips narrowed. "And a birdless good-for-nothing and thief even less so," he added more sharply.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Marian insisted, jutting her chin defiantly. In her stomach, however, a lump was increasingly forming. Doubts and worries, which had always been there, formed a growing rock that increasingly weighed on her conscience.

Guy wanted to shake Marian to get some sense into that stubborn, reckless head. Or kiss her, hoping she would remember WHO had been there to protect her all this time. Had it not been for the oppressive thorn of jealousy, which made his stomach queasy and his muscles hard, perhaps he would have taken a more level-headed approach to this conversation.

However, he put his hands on her shoulders with a firm grip, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I know that from your point of view, what Hood is doing may seem heroic," Guy gritted out between his teeth.

Did she think he wouldn't know? Did she think he wouldn't see through her lies?