Angelfire | The Whispering Wall #3

Thirty Nine: Futures

"He didn't come to see me." Grace's hands bunched in her skirts. "Do you think he hates me now?"

"Thorne?" Nova looked up from polishing her weapon. "I don't think he has it in him."

"But then why didn't he come to see me?" Grace sounded on the verge of tears.

Nova sighed and set aside her sword. She wasn't allowed to take it out of the weapons store except for practice, but it was hers, with Harkenn's permission and selected by the captain of the guard. She enjoyed owning it far too much to complain about who had given it to her; she had forgotten how good it felt not to be completely helpless. Training had reminded her of that. Back in her uncle's court, training had been the only thing she'd ever looked forward to. She didn't much care for fighting anymore, but she enjoyed feeling the strength build in her body after years of atrophy.

"He'll need time. Like I did." Still do, she thought. While they spoke to each other again, and trained together for some sessions, they hadn't been intimate for weeks. Nova still dreamed of it; would wake in the spare bed of Grace's room and be sorely tempted to crawl into Grace's bed with her. But then she would remember, like a jolt of ice down her spine. She would wonder if Grace was pregnant already. She couldn't keep Harkenn out of her thoughts. And so she always turned over and tried to get back to sleep, usually without success.

"I should have told him earlier." Grace sat heavily on the bench beside Nova. "He'll never forgive me for this, even if he doesn't hate me."

"You don't know that for certain. Give him some space, and then talk to him."

"What if he still doesn't want to?"

"Give him some more space, and then try again." Nova stared at Grace until their gazes met. Their familiar hazel still gave her an odd flutter in her belly, even after all this time. "He might come around to talking when he's sorted some of his own problems out. Vestra knows he's got enough of them."

"It felt like the best option." Grace's voice turned very small. "I've been thinking for months about how we're all going to get out of this, and I never came up with anything that would work. And then Harkenn just offered it all to me for this one thing."

"A baby," Nova reminded her. "Quite a big thing, despite the payoff."

"I know. But how many things would he ever have considered worth trading your freedom for?"

Nova said nothing. There was no answer to that question, because Grace was right. Harkenn would never free her for anything less.

"I actually thought it was quite lucky, really."

Nova looked sharply over at Grace. "What?"

"He could've picked anyone. I don't understand why he particularly wanted me, but because he did, I got way more for it than his mother or grandmother did. He showed me the records."

"I'm still not sure lucky is the right word."

"Maybe not." Grace sighed. "Shall we go, then?"

Nova took up the sword again, testing her grip on the hilt and suppressing a smile. She slipped it into the scabbard at her hip and looked up to find Grace staring at her from the doorway, a strange look on her face.

"What?"

"You look like a soldier." Grace's hair, glinting gold again now the dark dye had grown out, blew around her face in a strong breeze from outside. She smiled. "It suits you."

Nova's face heated as Grace winked at her and went out to the pitch, arms crossed against the wind. There was no mirror in the weapons store, and it was a stupid impulse of vanity to want one; she couldn't train in her dress, so Devon had found her the smallest sizes in a soldiers' shirt and trousers. They were still too big, so she'd had to tie the strings at her collar up tight to prevent it flapping open while she ran drills, and stuff the trouser legs into the neck of her boots. She'd torn ragged holes in the shirt to make room for her wing stumps; there was plenty of space, but the material itched and looked bizarre tented up around them. She was still skinny, but the clothes hid it rather than emphasised it the way her shift used to. She probably did look closer to how she had before being taken by Harkenn than at any other point since.