Unconditional love

chapter 37

                      Anam's pov

I was so excited to tell him about my pregnancy. I can't imagine I'm going to be a mom.

Mumma ( Khirat) asked me not to tell everyone because of the evil eye, as she believes in it. So, I didn't tell anyone except Sunidhi Bhabhi.

When I reached our apartment, the door was already open. So, I let myself in and locked it behind me.

As soon as I reached our bedroom, my excitement vanished into worry. Our room was in a mess, things were broken, and Shaan was lying unconscious on the floor.

"Shaan!" I rushed to him and when I sat down, putting his head on my chest, I saw that his nose was bleeding. He lay there like a lifeless body.

It didn't take me a second to realize that he had another panic attack, and tears started flowing from my eyes as I saw his condition.

"Shaan? Shaan? Please wake up. What's happened to you?" I ran my hand across his face to try and wake him up. But he didn't move, which increased my worry.

I held him tightly against my chest,  if he was consciousness, he would hear my worried heartbeat. I held him close like a mother holds her child, and tears kept flowing from my eyes.

I can't tell anyone about Dishaan's panic attacks, or else my brother won't let me stay alone with him. Besides, my brother is looking for an opportunity to find a small reason to make Dishaan divorce me. But under no circumstances do I want to leave Dishaan. I mean, I've started loving him, and I'm carrying his child. I can't.

I don't know how much time had passed as I sit there, still holding him against my chest, where my heart pounded with pain and worry. His nose continued bleeding, which was unusual. He never bled during a panic attack.

Lost in worry and pain, I felt hot breath fanning on my chest. When I lowered my gaze, Shaan was looking at me with blurry eyes.

"Shaan? Thank God, you opened your eyes. I was so scared." I held him tightly against my chest as if I wanted to hide him within me.

After comforting him against my chest until my worry subsided, I got up and rushed to the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

When I returned, he was still  in the same position where I left him.

As I walked towards him, something sharp pierced my foot, causing intense pain. But at this moment, I didn't care about my own pain.

Limping, I went to him and placed his head on my chest. Using cotton, I began cleaning the blood flowing from his nose. He stared at me, without blinking, as if trying to convey something.

I cleaned his nose and gave him some water. His lips were dry like a desert. Each step I took caused me pain due to the sharp object embedded in my bare foot, but I paid little attention to my own discomfort.

I helped him to get up and made him lie on the bed. I was about to leave to clean our room when he suddenly pulled me towards him and kissed me passionately, as if pouring his anger into that kiss. It was rough, and each suck displayed dominance and ownership.

He kissed as if he were trying to control his anger. Now he is hurting me; his nails are digging into my bare neck, and he is chewing my lips. I try to push him as I feel a lack of air, but he tightens his hold on my neck and waist.

After trying so many times, I succeed in pushing him and gasping for air. My lips are bleeding, his nose is bleeding, and his eyes darken with anger.

I feel hurt seeing his eyes filled with unfamiliar emotions that are not love. I'm used to seeing his eyes filled with love for me, but now those orbs are cold and red with anger. He is not conscious.