Unconditional love

chapter 43

                      Anam's POV

It has been two months since I came to Turkey, and there hasn't been a single day when I haven't thought about Dishaan. But along with those memories, some bitter things also come to my mind, which shatter my heart into a million pieces.

Those intimate pictures of rehan and me , which I don't have any idea where this comes from and a mere thought of me being with someone else  makes me disgusted with myself when I remember those pictures.

Before coming to Turkey, when I went back to our apartment, I found those pictures on the ground, and it felt like the ground slipped from under my feet when I saw them.

I know that Aunt Daneen had conspired, but didn't Dishaan trust me? Didn't he ask me even once what the truth was?

Did he love me so superficially? Every morning, I wake up with thousands of questions.

My mind says that Shaan is not at fault; he believed what he saw.

And my heart... hmm, my heart says that love is synonymous with trust. How could he think that I could have a relationship with another man? Don't he trust me? Do he consider me so fallen?

And every day, in the battle between my heart and mind, the heart wins, and I shatter.

It has been 12 weeks of my pregnancy, and whenever I think about the little life growing inside me, it gives me courage.

I don't know if Khirat aunty has told Shaan about my pregnancy or not, but honestly, I don't want him to know.

Because as soon as he finds out about my pregnancy, he will try to talk to me, make an effort to come here, and then I don't know what he might do. I don't want to make my child an orphan before coming into this world, especially by the hands of my own brother.

My brother is very happy that he will soon become a father and a uncle, and seeing his happiness, I am happy too.

I told my brother that I want to take charge in the Italian cartel, and his response surprised me.

He agreed to my request; maybe he understands my situation, which is why he agreed.

I have arrived in Italy to start a new beginning. You might think my words sound selfish, but believe me, I couldn't see any other way to free myself from mental and emotional suffering.

                    Dishaan's pov

It has been two months, and not a single moment has passed when I haven't remembered her, when my soul hasn't yearned to see her, to feel her presence. My heart cries to see her, to love her, to drown in her beautiful eyes.

But all of this is my fault, I am deserving of it. I have destroyed my love with my own hands.

Just the thought of it makes me disgusted with myself. I wish that day Abraham would have taken my life, I wish I had died that day. Every breath feels heavy without Anam, every breath reminds me of the guilt for what I did to her. It brings me close to death and leaves me alive.

Along with Anam, my siblings have turned their faces away from me as well. They don't even want to look at me. And mother? Mother says she is ashamed, that I am her son.

She is right, the mother of a rapist should be ashamed.

I couldn't bear the hatred-filled glances of those people. So I left and came to Italy, where I have been staying for the past month.

I don't have the same strength in my legs anymore, it's difficult for me to walk long distances. I need Anam's support.

Anam... My innocent love. I wish I could see her, I wish I could extract that day from the pages of the past. The day that stole my love, the innocence of my Anam, and took away everything from me...  took Anam away from me.

Every day, I wake up with the hope that some miracle will happen and I will have a glimpse of my wife, my love, my peace, in this unfamiliar country.

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