What I Didn't See - Ao'nung X Fem Reader

Chapter 1 - The Sully Family

This story starts just where you would expect. The hunting party was about to head out on one of their missions. This time Lo'ak and Neteyam would be joining as the lookouts.

I had gotten up that morning with the plan of leaving the camp and not returning till just before eclipse. Like most days.

I isolated myself quite regularly from my family. I would spend as much time as I could away from them. I had been since I was 11.

This was because I found it hard to connect with Eywa. Harder than all the other people of Pandora. I could nearly never feel her presence or that the great mother was real. And by the age of 10, had come to the conclusion that she wasn't real. At least to me. Of course, deep down I knew she was.

My mother and father worried for me. They worried that I would never connect to the great mother. I felt as though this made my family think of me differently. Like I was not as important as Kiri who had the biggest connection I had seen.

"Seze?" I turned to my father. "where are you going?" he asked. He stood next to his ikran, strapping on the saddle and loading some guns to it for the raid.

"Out" I said quietly, attaching my queue with my Ikran, his calm feeling washing over me. My irritated feeling washing over him. He let out a loud screech. I had named him Iggy.

I had done lots of training in my time alone so I could still bond with an ikran. The one that would happen to be my best friend other than my sister.

Iggy was the colour of an orange sunset. Small red details and yellow highlights. Bright in the daylight. At night, however, you couldn't see those colours. Only the colours of coal and ash with stars to brighten his wings.

Almost every day I would fly far away from my home to get alone time. Away from the boys who would all tell me to shut up when I said one word. Or Kiri who would nag me to talk to her about what was bothering me. And Tuk...Tuk would just constantly ask me to play with her as her last resort. If she wasn't asking me then she would pull my hair and whine about something, or just completely ignore me all together. My father would tell me to toughen up and get over whatever was making me 'upset'. Or he would tell me off for telling Tuk to leave me alone. My mother would kiss me good morning and leave it at that. Only talking to me when she needed to.

Of course that's just how it felt with my family. In reality they all cared for me and spoke to me when they wanted. They would smile at me in the morning or apologise for something they did. My father would ask me what was wrong and tell me to be brave if I was scared. Comfort me when I needed it.

But my mind did something weird. It was as though it blocked out all that love and care and did not allow me to see how my family truly felt about me.

I tried to stop it but all the bad thoughts would always rush back in after having one good day. Bad thoughts that didn't stop. Thoughts that only got worse. The kind of intrusive thoughts that make you want to hurt yourself.

I never did though, knowing if I did that my family would think even lower of me. That I was less than I already was without Eywa.

"you said you were watching Tuk once we were gone" my father said sternly, stepping closer towards me with his head tilted. He was mad at me for miscommunication.

"I never said I would watch her. I said someone can. Kiri is here. So is spider. And the science guys" I pointed out, hopping onto iggy. "she won't even hang around me if I stay...only if I leave"

My father let out a sigh and gave up, throwing his arms up while he walked off. Just as I was about to drop off of the edge of the cliff, my younger sister jumped out from nowhere, just as I had predicted.

"Where are you going? Are you going with mum and dad?" she asked rocking on her feet.

"No Tuk" I sighed. "I'm going to the forest..." I saw the girl's face light up and I knew exactly what she was going to ask. "and you're not coming with me."

"no fair. I never get to go with you" she whined. "we never do anything together."

"go back inside Tuk." I whispered while ordering Iggy to turn around so we could exit the cave. Just as I was about to leave, Iggy cried out. I looked to his tail and saw Tuk climbing up before wrapping her arms around my waist. "Tuk! Get off" I cried out, disconnecting the bond and picking Tuk up. I jumped off and placed her on the ground.