Let it Snow!

❄️Forty-One❄️

Nora forced herself to push everything that Martin had told her into the back of her mind when she joined Clelia behind the market stall, pulling her hood up the moment she felt a snowflake land on her cheek, a skin deep smile fixed on her lips, her eyes far away as she served her godmother's customers.

She knew that even though her pretend calm and cheerfulness might have fooled her friend Richard, who arrived in time to help his mother in the market and found several occasions throughout the evening to engage her in a conversation, she did not fool Clelia; Nora felt her eyes brimming with questions and concerns straying to her too often.

"I got the job in the castle by the way," Nora told her once they packed up for the night around midnight, in an attempt to disperse some of her godmother's worries as well as to deflect the questions she saw making their way to her lips now that they were alone.

"Well, no surprise there, right? Given your... acquaintance with the old Count's heir. Seeing how he behaves around you, I thought he would want to keep you close," Clelia commented without thinking and Nora could see the guilt and regret filling her eyes even as the unfiltered words left her lips.

Nora shook her head at her. "Thanks, Clelia, so it's because I know the Count that I got the place, rather than because I deserve it, correct?" She smiled, not allowing the woman to retract her words and apologise.

Clelia didn't mean it in a bad way. But she was only the first of a long row of people who might want to point their fingers and judge her... The town was small, and its inhabitants were close-knit, and the winter was long and boring. The last thing Nora wanted was to become a prominent object of gossip of the season. Apparently, there was no running away from that now... Well, she would deal with it when it happened. Until then, she had other things to sort out.

"And thanks for not telling me that Martin is the Count," she added sarcastically, her eyebrows drawn together in a mock frown as she kissed Clelia goodnight on her cold, wrinkled, dear cheek, her heart flooding with affection for her old, annoying but wonderful godmother.

"Well, you won't make me feel bad about that. Serves you right for not wanting to talk to me about your apparently very eventful love life. How did you find out?" she asked even as Nora started to walk away from her, in the direction of the castle, its brightly lit towers and turrets serving as a lighthouse, guiding her home through the park and the snowfall resembling a freezing, moving, misty curtain.

"It just clicked, after all. And I still don't want to talk about Martin with you. Good night, Clelia. I'll see you at three tomorrow."

She turned away and walked towards the park, her godmother's words trailing behind her. "Good night, Nora. Be careful, I still think you should sleep at my place, it's late..."

"Thanks, Clelia. I want to go home," she replied, finally leaving her godmother out of earshot as she left the square behind and walked under the thickly grown trees of the park.

Nora let her thoughts stray freely as she walked home, enjoying the feeling of being alone and free to think for once. The place looked somewhat different tonight, the deserted park with its trembling firs and the whispering fountain, the cobbled path leading to the castle whose illuminated windows flickered like stars through the veil of silent snowflakes floating around her like frozen albino moths. She didn't call Martin to walk home with her, and she appreciated that he didn't call her either; he was at home with Daniel, where he belonged in the first place. She would never push herself between the father and the son, and she was grateful that he understood that. The two had been through so much... Her heart clenched as she imagined how Martin must have felt upon learning that the child he hadn't known he had escaped death only by a miracle... The thought was maddening, and Nora couldn't bear it; she pushed it away into the darkest corner of her mind. It had happened and was gone, never to repeat itself. They were happy now. And maybe... maybe she could add to their happiness, she... loved... Daniel, and... Martin...

The feeling that filled her heart as she thought that was bewildering. She only met him a couple of weeks ago, she had never fallen in love this fast...

But she couldn't deny it, not to herself; she had fallen for Martin.

She sighed as she reached the cottage, climbed the steps half buried under snow, then paused on the porch before entering the house.

The falling snow really made the world look more beautiful, muffling sounds and deleting imperfections, even though only temporarily. It was offering people a break from reality, making real life feel less interfering. On snowy nights like this, the world lay silent, removed and unreachable, shrouded in white, semi transparent veil spun of fulfilled wishes and fairytales.

She blew the snow off the wooden railing of the porch and leaned agaist it, observing the castle spreading in the snowy night deep beneath her, its walls glowing eerily, bathed in the lights reflected off the heaps of snow, iridescent, otherworldly, impossibly beautiful, unachievable...

Closing her eyes briefly to clear her mind, she inhaled the reality surrounding her, the freezing winter night's air laced with the scent of snowflakes dispersing her reverie. She switched on the phone and sent Martin a text, 'I'm at home. Sleep well. See you tomorrow.'

His reply was immediate, her phone vibrating even before she found her keys in her bag upon reaching the door.

'Good night, Nora. See you tomorrow. I miss you.'

She stared at the last line as she closed the door, her back pressed against the cool wood in the darkness disturbed only by the faint light emited from the distant castle, reaching the cottage through the floor to ceiling windows of the sitting room.

The words 'I miss you' didn't seem to cover her emotions. They both seemed to be feeling so much more than what they had admitted to each other so far, despite their having kissed often. She closed her eyes, she had never imagined to find... a Martin here, in this small town, when she decided to return. She hadn't meant to fall in love...

'I miss you too.' She typed back quickly before she would lose courage, the words feeling like a confession, then switched the phone off.

Whenever she let a man get close to her heart in the past, things started to go wrong... Forcing her thoughts to sleep, she climbed the stairs in the dark, only switching the light on to lay the fire in her room.