the walking dead: the wife

chapter ix: enough

The silence was long and painful for both of them, one terrified by the answer and the other terrified by what she felt. He watched as she silently broke down before his eyes, tears streaming down her face and sniffles that she tried to avoid as much as possible, but he did not move. He only squeezed her hand, but refused to do anything else unless she talked. He wanted- He needed an answer from her. He needed to know what to do to help her.

"I-" she began, although she was cut off by the burning of her throat and had to swallow down hard to continue "I can't live like this"

"Sierra, the world has changed forever" he place a reassuring hand on her back "I know it's hard, but we can get through-"

"I can't live knowing that another woman will give you what I could not"

Shane froze at her words, realizing how wrong he had been to assume that the outbreak caused her pain, but also unaware that she knew about Lori's pregnancy. On the other hand, Sierra needed to get away from him, so she got up and paced around the living room. The atmosphere between them was tense again, just like the last they had been together at their place.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked genuinely, getting from his reaction that he already knew about the situation "You told me everything, Shane, why didn't you tell me this?"

"She said she won't keep it" he swallowed thickly, his eyes glued to the floor alongside hers.

"She's keeping the baby, Shane" her words made him look up at her, surprised with the new information – but he was met with the most heartbreaking sight he had ever witnessed: blood-shot eyes and waterfalls of tears.

"Sierra..."

"She sent me to get the abortion pills, y'know?" she paced around the living room, her words filled with anger but her face with nothing but pain "And I thought, I thought she might regret that decision. That she was not thinking clearly, and that maybe she needed time to think. So you know what I got her? Pre-natal vitamins. And I thought that, for some reason, that was the right thing to do. Give her a choice."

She stopped, which made him think that it was his cue to talk. But she talked again as soon as he opened his mouth.

"Well, tell me why do I regret that now, huh?" she begged, raising her voice as more words came out of her mouth "Tell me why do I want to talk her out of keeping that baby, tell me why do I want to shove those pills down her throat!?"

"I'm sorry" he spoke, this time his throat feeling tight and burning as he tried to fight off the tears.

"We tried so hard, Shane, so goddamn hard..." she deplored "But then you fuck this woman a couple of times, and it's all done"

"Sierra, don't"

"Maybe I was the problem, y'know? Maybe I was right in lying to you after all! Would've given you false hope if not"

"What are you talking about?" he got up from the couch and carefully walked towards her, confused by her words.

"Do you really think I just gave up?" she looked at him in the eyes and watched as one single tear fell from his left eyeball, and she whispered her next words only for him to "I couldn't see you like that, Shane, it was killing me"

He stared at her for a few seconds, his eyes moving from side to side as he watched each of her glistening blue eyes, before looking away and bringing one hand up to his mouth.

"You left because of that fight"

"I know" she watched as his cheeks got wet with his own tears "And I can think about is how I fucked everything up"