Only You....

Nightmares after nightmares..

My mother came to me and asked curiously, 'Khushi beta, are you sure?? '

I nodded smiling lightly, 'But beta, I thought you are still not ready'..My mother was shocked, I know she was not believing the happings.. 'Aunty if Khushi is saying that she must have thought well before doing it..' Lavanya interrupted and my mother nodded..

I looked at Arnav he is still standing far behind from everyone, looking here and there.. I didn't know what to do??

I was feeling very confused and lost.. Did I do right?? I wish I could explain what I was feeling at that moment.. I was supposed to be happy, I wanted to teach a lesson to Arnav then why it's hurting me so much..Why I am feeling sad instead of happy.. Why his sad and lost face pricking my heart like a sharp knife..Why I still can't see him in pain!!

People said it right, you should never take a decision in anger and I realized it after doing this stupid stunt.. I was angry at Arnav but now more than him I am angry at myself..I should not have involved so many people in all this.. I invited shyam and Arnav together thinking Arnav will get mad seeing Shyam but to my extreme disappointment he was happy that I forgave Shyam.. Which made me very angry and out of anger I decided to propose NK.. How will I come out of this mess now.. The irony is that I created this mess for myself..

Lavanya looked at me little sadly and putting her hand on my shoulder, she said, 'It's getting late,I will be leaving now.. I will call you later..' I just nodded and looked at Arnav again, he was still standing at the back of the room and looking lost..

NK got a phone call and went to the balcony to talk..Taking few small steps I went in front of Arnav.. He looked at me and tried to smile..I can see he was almost shaking to stand straight.. I was observing him very closely.. He was sad, more than sad and for saying that you don't need to know him..It was written all over his face..

We were standing in front of each other without uttering any words as if suddenly, we forgot how to talk.. May be like me he was also trying to understand me by my facial expression.. After a while Arnav said, 'I.. I think I should leave..'

I didn't respond just stood there silently showing my back to him..He took few steps towards the door, and then turned around, 'I know what you did and why you did this??.. ' I turned and looked at him,again without any words..He continued, 'You can punish me as much as you want but please don't punish yourself.. don't do anything you don't want to do...it's not worth it, trust me..'

He left and I stood there silently..His words were echoing in my ears..His sad face and teary eyes were making me feel sad..Soon NK joined me with a big smile on his face..I shied, 'NK listen...'

'I just talked to my mother, she is very excited about the news.. She is talking with your mother now..' He said excitingly cutting me off.. 'NK?? You know everything,still!!!...' I said being shocked ..

'I know Khushi, you are still in love with Arnav and did all this for hurting him...You told me before but why are you wasting your life for him.. He is a bloody bastard, he will not learn his lessons like this.. That son of a b**** needs more punishment...'

'NK, mind your words!!..' I said angrily, though I am very angry at Arnav, I don't like a bit someone else cursing him..He is my culprit and only I have right to punish him or badmouth him... I will never give this right to anyone and then realization hit me hard that I gave someone chance to curse him..

I was little surprised with the fact that NK knew about this drama, he is the only one knew about it and still now behaving like it was all real..I should not have involved others in that matter, I should not have do something like this.. Oh God, what have I done!!