ps: I still love you ♡

2 . Freen

Freen's pov

"I'm sorry I didn't know what to say please don't leave... I don't want you to leave..." I said and continued to sob. "What do you want me to do, you are the one who broke my heart... I couldn't even hate you for breaking my heart... that's how much I love you... but I can't do this anymore" she said while pushing my hand away from her. "It's a misunderstanding, I was jealous. I felt like i was being betrayed when you were singing song for her. I didn't know that you were helping someone i thought, you are proposing. And seng's matter, I didn't know they pressured me a lot. I'm sorry ok? Please believe me.. Just stay and don't leave ... please "I said while moving closer to her." I can't I'm sorry ...
It's over, whatever between us it's over" she left ... there goes my first love .....

Why god ... why are you playing like this... I know it's my fault ... it's my fucking fault(sobbing) ... I shouldn't have done this .. I should've chosen her over them... it's late .. Its fucking late ....... (sobbing)

"Freen" I felt someone calling my name "it's ok, it's ok. It's not real ok?" It was Nam she's hugging me right now.

"Nam" I cried again

"Shhhhhh. It's ok I know Freen , I know" she said and patted my back

I relaxed a bit. Ever since i left Thailand. I've been like this. I know whatever I'm dreaming didn't happened. But it still feels real. Cause it's true that I broke her heart'. If I talked to her after that she will say something like this. I'm not worthy of her love. I know

After getting better I went to take a shower. Nam prepared breakfast for us. We ate breakfast in silence. I know Nam has to say something, her face tells that she wants to talk.

"What's up with you" I asked Nam

"You know you should move on" she said. Not this again

"Let's not talk about this Nam, and i already told you I'm better" I said

"Better my ass" she said and glared at me "you are like this from the moment you left Thailand. I know what you did was wrong. But you can't keep doing this. You are drinking a lot and doing drugs. I'm worried about you freen" she added.

Silence....

"We are going back to Thailand" she said

"What ?" I asked

"You heard me right. I can't see you going like this. When you came here you were ok. But after you joined the uni you're getting worse. My parents already moved back to Thailand and I stayed back for you. You are not doing well here. I've talked to uncle and he's also worried if you don't go back uncle said that he will cut down your credit card" Nam said

"WTF" I said. Am I the daughter or Nam.

"Please let's go back. I'm worried about you" she said giving me puppy eyes. "I know why you don't want to go back. Maybe it's will be better if we go back. You have too much regrets. Let's face it. If she doesn't accept it it's ok. I'll be be there you. Ok na" she added

"Fine, but don't nag me after we reach there" i said "and ask dad to join us in the same uni " i added

"I already talked about it. Actually we are going to attend 'v' University in Bangkok, the one your cousin Noey studies. And Kate is also there." She said

Kate is our childhood friend so as Noey. But Noey is also my cousin.

"Ok fine" I said

"Our flight is tomorrow" she said

"Wait what?" I asked back

"Yeah we are leaving tomorrow morning, I don't want you to stay here. Do whatever you wanna do I'll just go and pack everything for you"

I went directly to the bar. If it's my last day I want to drink and enjoy here. I know whatever Nam said is because she's worried. But I'm not sure I'm ready to face everything.

I was super drunk. Couldn't even walk properly. I called Nam to pick me up. A girl came and sat beside me. She placed her hand on my lap. She pinned me and started to kiss me. I kissed her back. The moment she started to kiss my neck i kept getting flashback. I pushed girl away from me and walked away. It's been like this. I can't do more than kissing. I don't want anyone to touch me, if it's not her then no one can.

She once said that she will make sure that I will never love anyone like her. Well she did what she said. I dont love or even touch others. She made me like this. I can't move on. I can't do anything. I was the who did the mistake so it's fair that I'm suffering.

Nam came and picked me up from the bad. She nagged me throughout the road.

Ff

We reached Bangkok. Bangkok has changed a bit.

We reached our condo. We are still living under the same roof. Nam and i went straight to bed when we received the condo. We have class tomorrow so it's better to take a rest. Our condo is near the campus, so we don't have to wake up early.