A Teenage Love Affair

A Teenage Love Affair: Chapter 27- Mirrors

“And so you got married and didn’t send me an invite?” I turned to face Syd, hands on his pockets with a poker face hanging on his face.

Honestly, I felt bad about not telling Sydney about my marriage with Marky. But (we) I thought it was best for him not to know. It’s not that I am playing safe; I just don’t want him or to see him sad on my wedding day. And now all I could still say to him is an apology that could hang on air.

“I’m sorry.” I almost whispered and I tried to duck my head so that I wouldn’t see his face.

He invited himself to seat beside me by the bench. He takes in a deep breath before he talks to me. “Actually, I already know. I was just… waiting for you to tell Me.” he turns me so that I was lookin at him. “Maybe you and Marky don’t like me to be the best man.” (T.T)

 I gave him a pitiful smile. “Syd,”

“So you live with him now.” he lets out a low whistle. “How’s married life going?”

It’s been two months and yet the guilt of Sydney being left on the side lines still gnaw on me. It pains me to think that he’s trying to make it sound so normal so that he could talk to me.

“I honestly don’t know how to talk things with you, Syd.” I told him. (T.T)

It took him a moment to sink in my words. “Just talk to me, Dennise. That’s all I wanted.”

“I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you about the wedding. I am sorry that I always break your heart. I am sorry that I always make things hard for you. I am so sorry that I couldn’t help but to give you pain. I am sorry that it’s the only thing that I know I could tell you. And I hope that a simple apology could make things go back to the way they used to be.”

I felt my own tears spilling but I held them back.

“I know.” He prompted then I look up at him and a smile crosses his face. “I just… don’t understand why I’m still in love with you despite the fact that you now belong with someone else. And to be specific, my best friend.” He shakes his head. “Why does it have to be my best friend?”

I shrugged because neither do I know the answer to that.

“Do you even know him that much, Dennise?”

“I think I know him enough to understand him, Syd.”

He shakes his head in disbelief.

“Why are you showering me with questions, Syd?”

He looks down at his hands. “Because I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to stop talking to you.” he sighs heavily. “I want to understand the situation but it’s just so damn hard to accept it.”

He then grabs hold of my hand and he intertwined it with his. Then there’s this silly thought in my head that even though in front of me is the guy that I would ever want to love me, still I can’t find the reasons why, to me, his hand doesn’t fit mine perfectly. And yet I am looking for someone’s hand to hold mine who couldn’t even stay at home with me. Confusing I know. I don’t know what’s in this author’s head to make my life so miserable. (T.T)

“I feel like you’re miles away from me, Dennise, and it’s killing Me.” he says. “Please let me do something for you so that I could see you smile again.”

I smiled softly. “Actually, there is one thing.”

He raised his eyebrows for my answer.

I rubbed the top of his hand holding mine. “Please remain as my friend. So that I know I still have someone to hold on to.”